Sunday morning, we were sitting at the dining room table finishing breakfast. Sir sat there, sipped His tea slowly and thoughtfully. He was deep in the stillness of the moment. I was a different story. My mind began to race with all the lists of to-do’s and should do’s that awaited us for the day ahead. I felt the need to get up, clean up, and move things along. But it was obvious that He wanted to sit and slowly start his day.
I struggled. I wrestled with myself about what I should do. Do I get up and clean the dishes? Do I sit here and wait (impatiently) for my Dominant to get up and get moving (while probably looking impatient)? Do I keep going through my to-do list in my head wondering how to prioritize them to make sense of the day? Do I enjoy the quiet moment, watching Sir start His day peacefully? You know it wasn’t the last option that immediately came to mind. I find these moments in the lifestyle some of the hardest – but also some of the most needed.
You see, before I found the lifestyle and before I met Sir, I would work 2 or 3 jobs while also attending school full-time. I am not the kind of person who likes to “sit around” with “nothing” to do. I can be pretty stressed taking on too much work for the number of hours in the day. I know I do this and it catches up with me. I can snap, get tired, or feel completely overwhelmed before anything gets accomplished.
Personal growth and development is part of what attracts me to the lifestyle. Sir and I have come together knowing we would bring something to one another’s lives. I know that whether it is obvious to an observer or not, I am being challenged to learn and grow. Right now, I am being asked to slow down and be present in the moment. What a beautiful lesson in submission. To be fully present in the moment, not thinking about what is next. What a gift I can give to my Dominant – my full and undivided attention in every moment and to be more in tune with His needs.
Being present is something I am always working on. There are moments when it is easy – such as when I go over and sit at Sir’s feet. I do that very consciously and in my mind, I am ready to be present, peaceful, and slow down. It is the challenge of taking the quality of that presence into other moments is where I am trying to grow in my submission. It means being their mind, body, and spirit in quiet observation, and staying connected to my Dominant in the stillness.
Whether Sir knew it in the moment or not, He was teaching me (as He always does) and that is the beauty of our lifestyle. Learning from every moment, including the simple quiet ones, around the dining room table, when all the plates are empty…
What helps you learn to be fully present for your Dominant?