This is a guest article by greeneyedDeviant.
As an experienced bottom, I’m often asked about scene safety. But, let’s face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. Here are a few suggestions I’ve found useful for safely preparing to play in a scene.
Your Health
Things like drinking enough water to prevent dehydration which can lead to dry skin and cause your skin to tear easier when hit. Eating correctly and getting a good night’s sleep will help you when it’s time to play.
Make sure you discuss your health history in detail and provide a complete assessment of all current medical conditions such as diabetes and hypertension and any mental disorders like bipolar disorder. List all medications currently taken and why you take them. Some medications such as Coumadin (used to treat blood clots) may cause excessive bruising and/or prolonged bleeding from cuts. Even non-prescription medicines may reduce your blood’s ability to clot and cause bruising or bleeding under the skin such as non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), such as aspirin, ibuprofen (Advil or Motrin) and steroids, like prednisone. This type of information is vital for the Top so they can understand and circumvent potential problems that could occur during and after a scene. This also allows them to decline to “Top” if they are not familiar or uncomfortable with your medical conditions or medications.
Please bring medications that might be of use in their original bottles with you. For instance, if you suffer from anxiety and you’re unsure how you will react, please bring your medication in case a dose needs to be administered. If you are diabetic and need to check your sugar levels, bring your glucose meter and perhaps any medicines you may need to assist in regulating/monitoring your glucose level. Have someone on hand that knows what you need and is capable of making sure you receive it.
PROTECT THE PROPERTY! Bring your own first aid kit. You are responsible for your personal safety.
In Case of Emergency
One of the things people often forget is to prepare for an emergency where you might not be conscious. Carry a clearly written index card that contains:
- Two emergency contacts. Why two? If one contact cannot be reached, you have a back-up.
- Your health insurance information.
- A list of your current medical conditions including all medications and dosage in case medical attention is needed. This information can prove life-saving if readily available to an emergency medical professional.
- Please include your legal name and date of birth. Your emergency contact may not know you as “CandiCumHither” and you probably shouldn’t be admitted to the hospital under said alias.
lunaKM adds: Oftentimes you can also program emergency information into your phone that can be accessed without unlocking it. Things like emergency contacts, what medications you are taking, allergies you have and more can be stored on your phone for emergency persons to access. Make sure it’s up to date!
Your Aftercare Bag
Pack your aftercare bag to include anything needed after the scene. Since I am diabetic, I carry my glucose meter to check my glucose periodically, coconut water to rehydrate, a blanket, some fruit, glucose tablets, and some almonds.
Read More: Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare
Safety Before Sexy
Do not scene in high-heel shoes; safety before sexy. We all want to look cute when standing on the St. Andrews Cross. We’ve seen pictures of black lace stockings and 6-inch stilettos, but what you don’t see is the woman in subspace and barely conscious attempting to balance herself as she is removed from the cross. I tried walking from the cross to a nearby bench (with assistance) and nearly broke my ankle. Take the time to remove your shoes before being placed on the cross or any piece of equipment where you could potentially lose your balance.
Always get the legal name of your Top. While rare, if consent has been violated, it’s difficult to adequately report the person to the authorities with a name such as “MasteroftheWorld.”
Safewords
Ensure the negotiated safeword is known by the Top and used, if necessary. For scenes where verbal communication is difficult (i.e., gagged, etc. or if bottom becomes incoherent), negotiate an alternate method of communication like ringing a bell placed in your hand or dropping something to the floor as a non-verbal method of a safeword.
Read More: What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You – Get The Facts
Whether you’re a novice or experienced bottom, protecting yourself is first and foremost. Effective negotiation and communication skills are paramount. No matter the type of play, being an informed bottom can help create the tools needed to foster a fantastic scene for both you and your play partner. Even a bottom can learn to enhance their scene regardless if they are the one using a flogger or throwing a whip. You have taken all the steps to be prepared, now you can relax and be in the moment. Happy bottoming and enjoy the experience.
Born in Washington, DC, greeneyedDeviant is a queer-femme slave, masochist, and puppy. Her spirited approach to service is evident around her regional/national BDSM, Leather and kink communities/organizations. greeneyedDeviant is passionate about education and community service.