Ever since the advent of the Internet, people have been hooking up via technology. A whole new world opened up for people who were shy, not a part of a smaller community or felt like they couldn’t find a date anywhere.
For many people who date online, they will say that being anonymous and looking at people’s profiles feels less threatening than meeting people face to face. It’s really nice to learn about someone as a person before the physical connection gets in the way. Others find it easier to talk via text before they have to look into people’s eyes, it gives them a way to express themselves without as much fear of rejection.
There are different ways to use the online atmosphere to find a partner. First, there were IRC chat rooms and telnet. Then came discussion boards and finally, the dating site was born. Dating sites are huge in today’s dating culture and there are just as many of them as there are people to sign up for them. You can find ones that “promise” marriage, religion-based, physical feature based, even hobby-based. Some are set up like mail-order brides where people are looking for International love. The sky is the limit.
Obligatory Safety Notice
Sharing anything online is not the same as sharing it in private. You have to have a bit of extra protection for what you share. Your private information can be used against you to steal your identity, you can get fired from your job and it is possible to be used in legal proceedings. So please be extra careful what you put out there.
Even if a site says your pictures are protected, they can still be swiped and shared in other places. I can’t say this enough but too many people just think that because they have to log into the site that they are safe. Read more about online profile safety.
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What Should Your Dating Profile Look Like?
The hardest part of any online dating site is what to put on your profile. I know you just stare at the page in freight, right? Well have no fear, I’ll help you figure out what to have on your profile to help you get the attention you want and how to handle the attention you don’t want.
Pictures
First, let’s talk about pictures. It’s a hard decision to put a picture out there or not. Dating sites are different than other social sites. You will definitely want to find a picture to put on your profile. The kind of picture matters. Keep it clean. Think about the type of photos you had taken in school. From the upper chest to the top of the head in a profile shot. You want to represent what you really look like to someone.
It might be a cool idea to post a picture of someone performing kink or artistic submission but that’s not who you are and there is no reason to hide behind a fake picture if your intention is to find a partner. Be yourself. Put the artistic stuff on your social profile.
Don’t put pictures up that you wouldn’t want your mom or dad to see – keep those for private conversation and exchange if you get attracted to someone. You are looking for a relationship, not a booty call. Keep your booty off the dating sites.
(If you are looking for casual, anonymous hook-ups, by all means just put your nudity out there. That’s all that’s going to matter for those sorts of exchanges anyway.)
Headline
Most dating sites have a space for a short headline. Make it catchy! It should be meaningful and attract attention to you. Do make it personal.
Biography
The most important part of your dating profile is the profile itself. What you write about yourself can be as detailed or general as you are comfortable with – but the more you share the more likely you’ll attract potential dates.
First, draft it on a notepad or off the dating site. You want to just get the words down first. That way you can read it over before posting it, correct spelling and grammar and make sure it says what you want it to say.
Talk about your positive personality traits, the good things that have happened in your life. You can share your dreams for the future and your hobbies. Write about what makes you unique! Be positive. No one wants to read a profile where you are down on yourself and your life.
If you can’t think of what to write, then ask your friends why they like you and what your positive personality is like.
Know what you want. Make a list of must-haves, good to haves and no-nos so that people can see if they are close to compatible with you. Imagine your ideal date and pretend they are sitting there listening to you tell them why you are their best choice. Write like you speak, it makes it more familiar.
Describe what kind of submissive you are. Create a picture of your ideal world. Describe what you hope to have in your relationship. If there are limits you won’t cross, list them here. Be honest about your fears and your interests.
This isn’t the place for a full relationship history. You can say you are divorced or widowed or whatnot, but don’t bash your past relationships. There is a time to talk about your relationship history and your dating profile is not it.
What Not to Put In Your Dating Profile
There are things you should never list in your profile and while I think it goes without saying, the fact that I’ve seen so many people do it tells me this has to be said.
Do not list your work location, any of your family’s names, your address, photos of your car/home/work, your phone number or email address in your profile. All of this can be used to steal your identity or worse.
Do not air dirty laundry or past baggage on your profile. No one needs to know you hate your mom, or that your job cheated you on a promotion or that your best friend borrowed money and never returned it. Your dating profile isn’t the place for that.
Also, poetry, favorite quotes, online quizzes and the like are not welcome on your dating profile. Leave those for social networks and your blog. They don’t have anything to do with who you are or who you are looking for so leave them out. You may think that they paint a good picture of you, but in all honestly, it is a lazy way to say, “read this, that’s who I am. I can’t come up with my own words.”
How to Respond to Positive Messages
Receiving messages from interested parties is the goal of a good dating profile. How you respond to them is just as important as how you lay out your dating profile.
No matter what they say in their message, from full words to text speak, you should give them the benefit of the doubt and reply respectfully. Look over their profile, ask them questions and answer theirs. Keep it brief and positive. Flirting is okay.
Sure it is likely you’ll get a few jerks from time to time. But if you feel the need to ignore them, then do so. Not every person needs a response.
Questions for Readers
- Do you have a dating profile on a BDSM dating site? What sites do you prefer?
- What is something from someone’s profile that you really liked? What about something you didn’t like?
- How do you respond to interested persons?