Why do Dominants insist on being called Sir?
That was a question posed not that long ago in an online community that I belong to. They wanted to know why so many insist on being called Sir. Was it a matter of respect the Dominant thought they had earned? Was it a matter of protocol? What really was the issue behind not wanting to say that 3 letter word to a Dominant?
I personally think that it stems not from a lack of respect but rather from a school of thought that titles such as Sir are earned with time, and that the submissive shouldn’t automatically call the Dominant that. Is this showing a lack of utter respect for protocol? No, I don’t think that it is. Let me explain why.
In this day and age of the online chat sites, there are so many pretenders. The modern online submissive is learning to withhold certain types of protocol until they feel comfortable enough with the Dominant to address them as Sir. It isn’t meant as disrespect but rather a way of saying Sir is “I trust you and what you have to say.” Many Dominants though perceive it as disrespect to not instantly be called Sir.
Is this fair? Perhaps it is not but so many submissive coming through the ranks now are being taught by older and wiser submissives to do just this. I’m guilty of it myself. I don’t always address every Dominant I meet online or in real as Sir right off the bat. Is this how I was taught? No, I was taught that every Dominant is Sir unless told otherwise.
Why did I change the way that I was taught protocol?
- Pretenders who were not really dominant at all demanding the title used.
- Assuming that just because I was submissive that I was submissive to all.
- Demanding the title used in inappropriate places that might endanger us or that are not open to the lifestyle.
- Demanding it used even when showing a complete lack of respect for me.
- Showing that they don’t even know the basic standards of SSC or RACK.
Is it right for me to make such changes to protocol? I think in some settings it is appropriate. If the community protocol though is the standard I learned then I abide by it, but otherwise, I use my own judgment. I try not to step on toes but sometimes the behavior of the dominant makes it so that I just can’t. There’s a much bigger golden rule….”Treat others how you’d like to be treated”.