KnyghtMare and I get lost in romance sometimes. The love we have for each other manifests in affection, mushy moments where we can only say how much we love each other and that overwhelming sense of joy that comes from a strong romance. For us romance is a part of our M/s relationship. Without knowing he loves me completely I don’t think I could submit to him in the same way.
Sure his idea of flirting and romantic gestures are not exactly vanilla in nature. His booby grabs and ass swats as I go by are romantic in a way. When he calls me baby and even when he calls me slut and cunt are all romantic to me. He is expressing his desire and love for me in these ways, but he’s also expressing his control and ownership of me. Yes, I still get flowers and cards and gifts. I’m showered with all these things because he knows I love them, but I get so much more. I get to feel his control and authority in a loving manner and it’s powerfully erotic and romantic.
For those of you who say you get lost in the mushy stuff and forget your place, I have to wonder why the romantic side of you and romantic expression isn’t a part of your submissive role. It’s always been a part of mine so perhaps it is just that I don’t have a working knowledge of the form of relationship where romance isn’t a part of the submissive role.
Now I understand that for those of you looking in from the outside of D/s you see leather, whips and chains, sneers and pain and wonder how in the world that can be romantic. Your world view is different. I think that when people find out that they love rough sex or spanking and flogging that all of a sudden that negates the natural ability to be romantic or to love just to love. Romance is a vague term that means different things to each of us. What I consider romantic may not be the same as what you consider romantic. And as you mature and age the definition too can change.
Whether I just don’t have the knowledge or not, I know romance can exist in a D/s relationship and it can still be a powerful dynamic. Here’s a video by mstrjay about romance in D/s relationships.
I’d like to know if you agree with me and if so, tell me how romance exists in your relationship. Does it undermine your dynamic?