The Ring and the Collar: A Personal Opinion on the Symbolism of a Collar

I am a product of the 80’s, which I think is the greatest decade, ever. I may be a bit partial with my thinking. The music, television, and especially the movies is what makes the 80’s such a memorable decade. One of my favorite movies from that era is “ The Princess Bride”. To me, that’s one of the timeless classics that will never get old. My favorite scene in the movie is towards the end, where Princess Buttercup and Prince Humperdinck are getting married.

“Mawwiage. Mawwiage is wot bwings us togedew today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangment, that dweam wifin a dweam. And wove, twue wove will fowwow you foweva and evah, so tweasure your wove.”

Anyone who’s seen that movie had to be reading that quote in the voice of the Impressive Clergyman. I know I did.

I remember one time at a play party I attended, there was a female dom and her male slave and she and other guests were discussing her recent marriage to her collared slave. Everyone was congratulating the newly married couple, they both smiled and thanked everyone for their well wishes. During the night, someone asked her what would happen if her slave had asked for a divorce. She looked this person squarely in the eye and told them she would be more than happy to grant him the divorce, but that doesn’t mean he was walking away because he would still have her collar and thus still be her property. I a bit caught off guard hearing this and it brought a smile to my face. She noticed and shortly after that conversation approached me to ask about my reaction. Most of the other guest were rather surprised at her response to the question, and she wanted to know why I, someone so young had a very different reaction compared to someone who had been in the lifestyle for at least twice as long as I had this time.

I told her because that’s how things should be. That once a Master or Dominant collars their slave or submissive, then the collar should be a permanent thing, not just until I get tired of dealing with you and all your little quirks thing, like with what happens in a lot of marriages. She asked me how I came to form this opinion and I told her on my own. At this point in time, I had already been involved with a poly couple where things didn’t work out and with that being my first live-in experience, I had learned a lot in the few months I was with this couple. It was at that point, I learned just how serious being a collared slave really was and that the collar isn’t just some fashion statement or something to be collected just because you think they’re pretty. With hearing this Domme say that her slave can ask and be granted a divorce, but not having his collar removed, that’s the night when I really learned what commitment is.

I knew when I accepted Daddy’s collar, that I was making the most important decision in my life. I knew that once He fastened the collar around my neck, that it was there permanently. There would be no taking it off, there would be no way of asking to have it removed. With accepting Daddy’s collar, I knew I was making a life-long commitment to Him, a commitment that would mean more than any piece of documentation from any government saying we are legally married.

Yes, Daddy and I are married, but honestly, if you were to ask one of us how married life is going, you’d get a look of confusion from the both of us and a “Huh? What do you mean married life? Oh, yeah, that’s right. I did get married”. I know I have thought that statement numerous times after my friends would ask how “married” life was treating me. The whole fact that Daddy and I are married, isn’t a factor in our lives at all.

To me, the collar around my neck, the weight of the steel is the only thing I need to know that Daddy loves me and will forever hold more weight than a ring on my finger or a piece of paper from a government office. I know there are quite a few M/s and D/s couples who do get married and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I do see it as a nice vanilla way to express the deep love and commitment with friends and family who don’t know about the lifestyle. It’s completely a personal choice and there’s nothing wrong with choosing marriage or not. The only thing that needs to be kept in mind is what means more to you….the collar around your neck or the ring around your finger.