Full Question: I am in a long-distance D/s relationship. We normally just stick to a regular dynamic but he is coming to visit me in a few weeks and has said he wants to switch. I just want to know how far should I take things. He has said he wants me to punish him but should I be strict or easy on him. Should I expect him to follow all the same rules he set for me. I’m not sure what to do.
Answer:
It can be so exciting to be asked to switch with your partner! You’re asking some very good questions, but the person you should be asking them to is your partner.
When you first started your relationship with them, you probably had a lot of conversations about what you might want or need in the dynamic, what limits you have, what play you are interested in, and how strict or easy-going you prefer punishments to be. What you should do before you agree to switch with them is have these very same conversations.
Ask them what switching looks like to them.
- Do they want to remain in charge and bottom to you?
- Or, do they want to surrender control also?
- What activities might they be interested in trying?
- What should you know about them to make switching a positive experience?
- What safeword do they want to use?
The real point is that you shouldn’t assume that he wants exactly the same thing you need from him in the dynamic. When you have the conversation, don’t be afraid to speak up about what concerns you may have, questions you need answers to, and really find out what will be enjoyable for both of you. And if you feel you can’t meet his request, say so.
A relationship functions best when you can openly talk to each other about all the things that make your relationship work. I wish you the best of luck on your exploration of switching!