Question: How long should I communicate with a potential dom on an online dating app? I’ve been speaking to this dom for a week, and he hasn’t initiated any coffee or drink meet-up yet. We are supposed to explore this dynamic in real life.
Answer:
There’s no hard rule for how long to chat before meeting, but if a face-to-face dynamic is the goal, we shouldn’t stay in text limbo for too long. A week of conversation is a decent starting point, especially if you’re both active and interested. If they haven’t made a move to meet yet, it’s okay to ask yourself why.
Maybe they’re shy. Perhaps they’re juggling life stuff. Or maybe… they’re not as ready to meet as you are. That’s not necessarily a red flag, but it is something to pay attention to.
Here’s the thing: there’s no need to wait for them to initiate the first move. You can say something like, “I’m enjoying our chats. Would you be up for coffee sometime soon?” It’s low-pressure and gets the ball rolling. Their response can tell you a lot about where they’re at.
Also worth keeping in mind: someone serious about building a real-life D/s dynamic will usually want to meet in person pretty early on. Chemistry, safety, and compatibility are hard to gauge through text alone.
If they continue to dodge meeting after a reasonable time (especially without a good reason), it may be time to reevaluate your investment. Not every Dom on an app is looking for something real, even if they say they are.
You’re allowed to speak up, take initiative, and ask for what you want—a healthy D/s dynamic needs open communication on both sides, even from the start.