Full Question: How do you handle a 24/7 D/s relationship breakup?
Answer:
A breakup is hard, no matter what kind of relationship you were in. You’ve invested time and emotions to build what you hoped would be a lasting relationship, only for it to end. The end of a D/s relationship comes with all the usual emotions you would have at the end of any relationship, but also some extra emotions that are unique to the end of a D/s relationship.
Typical relationship breakup emotions and consequences are:
- Sadness
- Anger
- Grief
- Betrayal
- Loss of security
- Feelings of abandonment
- Depression
- Trauma
- Separation of belongings
- Children and pet ownership shifts
But what’s unique about a D/s relationship ending is that sadness is often amplified, and shame and self-guilt develop from anger. The level of vulnerability involved in power exchange can cause emotional dependence that is hard to let go of. Often, submissives struggle to regain the power and control of their lives, and the dynamic ends. This can be especially upsetting.
To make a D/s breakup easier, start by creating a new routine that includes a lot of self-care activities. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you are experiencing. It’s important to process your relationship grief, so find outlets like journaling, a like-minded friend you can lean on for support, or seeking kink-friendly therapy.
It’s not advisable to jump straight into looking for a new partner. You need to unpack the emotional baggage from the last relationship before you will be mentally ready to take on a new connection. Allow yourself the grace and time to heal.
Removing ownership symbols can also be very upsetting. Collars are often returned to the Dominant at the end of a dynamic. It’s okay to feel a connection to the collar after a relationship breaks up. Remove it when it feels okay; sometimes, having a supportive friend there can help. Replacing the collar or other ownership symbols with something that has personal meaning to the submissive may ease your transition and take back your control and authority over yourself.