Full Question: How can I avoid getting too attached to or developing romantic feelings for a Dominant with whom I’m not in a romantic relationship?
Answer:
Whether you’re in a casual relationship with this Dominant or just a really good friend and are beginning to crush on them, trying to avoid developing feelings of love and attachment to them is difficult. It’s not an uncommon thing.
You can’t stop feelings from happening, but you can find ways to manage and cope with the unrequited love you may begin to feel. Keeping your mind off the Dominant can be difficult, especially if you see them often.
First, if you are in any kind of relationship with this person, you may want to establish some boundaries regarding feelings. Talk with them about what to do if feelings begin to grow, how they want to navigate that, and where the relationship is headed. Once you know the limits and agree to maintain them, it can help you keep things appropriate to the expectations you’ve set.
If you have romantic feelings for them, make sure you keep all interactions with them respectful. Avoid flirting and limit physical contact. Be clear about how much time you can comfortably spend with them, or make a rule that you will contact them when you feel spending time with them will be the least stressful on your emotions. Eventually, your feelings may start to fade.
Even after trying to keep things under control, it’s natural to be bothered if feelings continue. In that case, it might be best to spend some time apart or stop seeing that person completely. If you plan to cut ties, you may want to explain your reasoning to them first.
If you decide to tell someone your real feelings, and they don’t return those feelings, there may be a chance to stay friends anyway. In that case, each of you should agree to avoid conscious flirting or making comments that might send mixed signals. Set new rules about what you are and are not going to refer to each other as and how frequently you might see one another.
Be realistic. People who have difficulty letting go of someone may continue the relationship in their minds. Instead, look for ways to distract yourself from those thoughts. Develop a hobby, start a journal to process your emotions, or talk to a friend or loved one to help yourself from obsessing.
Whatever you do, give yourself some grace if romantic feelings start bubbling up into your thoughts. You are human and crave affection and love. Do what’s best for you if and when those feelings occur.