So, I am very new to this. I met Sir online and he asked me what do I expect from this relationship? My question is how do I figure out exactly what it is that I expect? I know I expect him to teach me everything, to help me learn my limits. Any help with this would be great.
You are in a very common situation that novice submissives tend to find themselves in. You’ve jumped into a relationship because you think that is what you need, when in fact, what you need first is to know what you need and expect in a relationship. A lot of your current issue could have been avoided if you had sat down first and figured out what your idea Dominant would be and what sort of relationship you are looking for.
Granted, that’s all hindsight now, but the work can still be done. You can still figure out what sort of submissive you are and what things you might enjoy so that you can answer this man’s questions. So, get a notebook out because you are going to have to do some homework. Here are a few things you should try to answer so that you can help this Dominant know what’s expected of him and yourself during this relationship.
1. Think about what submissive means to you. How would you define that to someone else? What does it look like from someone in the know looking in? Do the same for Dominant. What does that mean to you and how would you define that to someone else?
2. What type of relationship are you seeking? Do you want online only or face to face? Do you know if you want to submit full-time or for specified periods of time like after the kids are in bed or on the weekends? Do you want a monogamous, open or poly relationship? Do you want romance or service only?
3. What hits your pleasure centers when you think about submission? Are you into kinky play too? Have you filled out your BDSM checklist yet? It’s a very good starting point for novices that are into the kinky play aspects of BDSM as well as submission.
4. What are your limits? Don’t just think about the play aspects, but your entire life. Are you willing to surrender control over your clothing choices, bathroom privileges, finances, parenting decisions, whether you work and where, etc? Be really specific here because it all will pertain to what you expect from a Dominant.
5. How do you learn best? Are you a hands-on learner? Do you prefer researching and writing? What about practice makes perfect or stubborn perfectionism? Figure out how this Dominant is expected to teach you what you want to learn.
I hope this helps you some in figuring out who you are as a submissive. All my best and good luck.