Full Question: What really are the differences between submissive and slave? Can you be one and then change your mind later?
Answer:
Types of submissives come in as many varieties as wines; there is one for every palette and preference. When someone tells you that you are submissive and you finally admit to yourself that you are submissive, which can be a journey itself, you can figure out how your submission differs from another by what type of submissive you are.
A submissive is someone that submits in a relationship either part or full-time. This can involve only in the bedroom play all the way to live-in service. A submissive generally submits only to those they are in a D/s relationship with and are respectful of others outside of it. A submissive has roles and rules and structure to guide their interactions with their Dominant and with others. Most of the time they still hold a veto card called the safeword.
Unlike the submissive, a slave must surrender completely and be in complete control of a Master. The slave must feel completely owned. The slave usually feels like nothing until the Master gives them a slave identity. When the Master is happy the slave is happy. Many slaves I have talked to feel this way. They feel most complete when with Master. The slave beams when s/he brings Master pleasure. The slave must surrender, and the slave is not happy until s/he has surrendered. The slave feels completed when surrendering to a Master.
A submissive is someone who submits willingly, sometimes on a case-by-case basis, to the will of another. A slave is someone who is wholly controlled and owned by another. That’s really the sum of it.
No one way to serve is better than another. Remember that no matter where we are on the mountainous journey, the goal is the same. Surrender. These are my definitions. Should there be a solid set of definitions that people can choose from? Other than the dictionary definitions that is; something lifestyle related that we can point to and say if you fit into a, b and c you are submissive, but if you feel more like d, e and f you are slave? In many cases, the character traits of one are not mutually exclusive to a specific label. What do you do then? Create a blur zone, of course. In this blur zone are all the things that can apply to both submissive and slave. This blur zone is so large that there is no wonder why novices have such a hard time learning what they are and where they can place themselves.
Can you change your mind and be one and then the other? Of course, you can. You can evolve and find out you fit better in another role better!