Full Question: How do you feel about self-collaring?
Answer:
I don’t think my personal opinion about self-collaring is necessary, but I would like to talk about what it is and why it can create conflict within the community (and it shouldn’t).
A BDSM collar can have different meanings. It can show ownership, devotion, or submission. Self-collaring is different from the norm because the collar is given and received by the same person.
Collaring yourself can give you a sense of identity that may be lost if you were once in a relationship and now you aren’t. It also can be a tool to remind yourself that you are in charge of yourself and your own body, learning to love yourself first. Some submissives feel comfort from self-collaring also. Self-collaring can have a special meaning for the submissive choosing to do it. And that’s perfectly okay.
The conflict in the BDSM community comes from the idea that a collar revolves around a loving, romantic, often monogamous relationship. It’s much like a wedding ring, to be fair. The idea that you can do this solo is chafing to those ideologies. But you don’t have to listen to those views.
Self-collaring can be healing, empowering, comforting, and so much more. If you feel placing a collar on yourself will help you become a better person, don’t let other people’s opinions stop you.
One of the most beautiful things about BDSM is that personal identity and definitions are based on your own experience and views and influenced by what you’ve been exposed to. If self-collaring feels right for you. Embrace it.