Submissive Advent – Day 11: Pancake Identity

Today is day 11 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can  go back to that now, or  rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also  read the introduction post.

In the book club event we did this fall we read “Conquer Me” by Kacie Cunningham. She has some very wonderful stories and words if you haven’t read it yet. One of those stories we are going to reflect on today. This one comes from Chapter Two titled “This one time at Pancake Camp”:

“Quite some time ago I was struggling with my identification within the lifestyle. A the time I was going through this struggle I felt that ll of them were narrow and constraining  I knew I wasn’t a “bottom,” “submissive” didn’t feel like it said enough about who I really was, and “slave” felt like it said things that were’t true at the time. Master and I were out to breakfast one spring morning. I was talking about these feelings and finally, in frustration, I said I wasn’t ascribing to any of our cultural titles anymore… henceforth  I would be known as a pancake.

“I could just as easily have chosen some nonsense word, but pancakes were on Master’s plate at the time, while I had ordered crepes. He looked down at them, then back at me and asked, “Why a pancake?”

“My reply: “Because you chose pancakes! Because you obviously like pancakes! Pancakes are simple, honest htings, not all high-maintenance like, say, crepes. I want to be something you would  order!” (Conquer Me, chapter 2)

How many times in your submissive journey have you thought about the words we use to identify ourselves and feel that they just don’t feel quite right? Are you comfortable with the words you use to identify yourself now or would you rather try on different terms? Do you feel the terms you use could be too confining? What is the underlying issue with the identification we use for submissive types?

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How would you answer the questions above? Do you identify with Kacie’s story?