How Can I Satisfy My Need to Submit Without a Dominant?

Full Question: What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant?

Answer:

It takes some thought, that’s for sure. I suggest you start with a personal protocol. A personal protocol is a set of rules with a punishment/reward system that any submissive can use to help improve themselves and their submission. Using a protocol like this will help you set some reachable goals and keep you focused on what makes you feel good about yourself. 

You can also take every opportunity to help and serve others as a way to serve yourself and your community. If you attend a church group or know of a homeless shelter or food pantry, volunteer your time. See if a nursing home wouldn’t mind if you visited once a week. Give your time, and in return, you will be pleasing others. This can do a lot to boost your submissive focus.

You can still do it at home if you can’t get out into the community. Take care of the house in a way you think would be pleasing. You can also develop routines and rituals specifically focusing on your personal submission. When I was single, I had a before-bed routine that involved kneeling and placing my forehead on the floor. During this time, I would reflect on the day and remember points where my submissive nature was strongest. It helped me reaffirm that even though I go to bed alone, I am still preparing myself for the one who will invite me into his bed someday.

Sometimes the submissive needs you have can not be overcome or cared for without someone else. It is in these cases that I strongly recommend you become a regular at BDSM support groups and munches. Groups can always use a helping hand setting up, tearing down, and ensuring things run smoothly. There are Dominants that understand play needs when you have it and are willing to be your service Top. This can be a session at a play party or a casual meet-up, with a safe call, to do something more intimate.

Embracing your single submissiveness is a strong and empowering trait. You can live a fulfilling singlehood before you enter a relationship.

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