Entering into a D/s relationship where you will have rules and behaviors expected of you is a daunting proposition for many submissives. How do you remember all of the rules? How do you remain accountable when you aren’t in the same place as your Dominant?
It’s not an instant shift in mindset, but you eventually have your Dominant in your head with you as you go about your day. For an example, I go grocery shopping for KnyghtMare and I. As I go up and down the aisles, I can hear him saying, “is it on the list, slut?” “You can’t have that.” “I’d like some of these, baby.” “Stick to the list please.”
It doesn’t stop there though. I know my rules but I rarely have to think of them in some way. Looking at the candy bars I think, “should I call him and ask if I can have one, or do I just move along?” Now usually I just move along because I can hear him in my head.
So is your Dominant in your head yet? Does he control you without even uttering a word? Can he remind you of your place without even being in the same room?
Moving on, once you have him in your head learning to listen to what is being said is important. Oftentimes we hear the devil or angel on the shoulder story, well this is your Dominant. Who are you going to listen to?
Alright, so by now you are probably thinking I’ve gone off the deep end, after all, it’s likely that your subconscious is really what is prompting your behavior, you have just applied your Dominant’s voice to it. And where is that wrong? I’m kinda glad that my internal voice is keeping out of trouble because goodness knows I’d be in a lot of it if I didn’t listen to that voice in my head.
Your internal Dom is not a substitute for the real thing. If you know you should be asking for permission for something, you should still do it. Otherwise, you are just manipulating your internal Dom to get what you want and not what your Dominant desires from you. Knowing the difference is key.
Your internal Dom can only remind you of what you already know. You should never just do something because you figure he’d say yes if you asked, or that he wouldn’t mind. Oh really?
So tell me, how does your internal Dom work?