This is a guest post by fuzzyP. I’ve put this question off long enough. It’s one of those questions that can cause a person to take a long, uncomfortable look at oneself, and I don’t know too many people who like doing that. My answer may not be quite what you expect. Men are strong, […]
Is Male Submission a Form of Weakness? Read More »
In the fall of 2006, my relationship with KnyghtMare was on the rocks. I was battling with submission and what it meant for my life with him. He was changing and growing more into his role. I think that we clashed because we just weren’t prepared for the changes in each other. I got in
When He Removes The Collar: The 3 R’s to Get You Back on Your Feet Read More »
In this last post in the pain management series, we’ll talk about the false edge, limits and the true edge. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it for you. Over the course of the previous posts, we’ve hopefully learned how the body processes pain, the benefits of pain processing
Processing Pain in Play: Overcoming the False Edge Read More »
Continuing on the topic of processing pain we come to a very basic question, “What’s the benefit of this pain, anyway?” If you aren’t a masochist this can be a question with no clear answer. Some say, “it is part of submission,” others “to please their Sadistic Top,” and still others can say, “the benefits
Processing Pain in Play: What is the Benefit of Pain, Anyway? Read More »
This is a continuing of the series on pain processing. If you want to read previous essays, check the first in the series on natural pain processing. Pain processing is natural to a certain extent. For some people—boys more than girls—an additional degree of pain processing is taught from a very early age, but not always
Processing Pain in Play: Learning a Processing Technique Read More »
We are nearing the end of this series on pain processing in play. What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you’ve experienced anything like I have, there are moments where you just can’t change the pain response to anything beyond pain. What normally feels really good is just not. There are
Processing Pain in Play: What Can Interrupt or Block Pain Processing? Read More »
I’m continuing the discussion on processing pain in play today. If you missed yesterday’s post, you’ll want to read about Negative Pain Management Techniques first. If you want to go back to the beginning you can do that too. Now that we’ve learned the negative ways we manage pain during play I’d like to cover a couple of the
Processing Pain in Play: Positive Pain Management Techniques Read More »
Yesterday we talked about the three ways that people naturally process pain. Today and tomorrow I’m going to cover the ways we manage the pain we experience. I’m going to stick with describing the pain that we experience during play for this discussion. Now, part of these posts will talk about the benefits from play that
Processing Pain in Play: Negative Pain Management Techniques Read More »
Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or other so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Over the next week, we’ll cover what the natural pain process is, pain management techniques, how
Processing Pain in Play: What is the Natural Process? Read More »
This is a guest post from Calliope. I’ve always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has always been of the “hide in my room and cry until it goes away” variety. Of course, “looking pitiful until someone takes mercy on me” has also
Exploring Endorphins from Pain Play for the First Time – A Point of View Read More »
When you’ve decided to venture out on a blind date with a prospective Dominant you’ll likely want to set up a safe call. A safe call is someone that is aware you are on a date, who you are with and what to do if you don’t call on time. It’s a check in, plain
5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person Before You Go On That Kinky Date Read More »
You want to start attending the events in your local community but their dress code is “Fetish Wear Only.” How do you dress for these events without spending insane amounts of money and still look great? Fetish wear can be a lot of things but it’s usually clothing you wouldn’t wear out in the real
Building Your Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget Read More »
The standard American “Disney” propaganda tells us in no uncertain terms that we are to hold our love and our bodies back until we meet “the one” with whom we will discover that magical connection. It will last forever and ever, and there will be happy endings all around. A lot of us, men and
“Being Loved” versus “Being In Love” Read More »
KnyghtMare and I are always in role. Even when out in public he is the Dominant and I am submissive to him. So, it’s with great frequency that I get asked how we stay in role especially in public or out among the vanilla public. I don’t know about you but when it comes to
Submitting in Public: How is it Done? Read More »
The views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I like those definitions especially the end part where they say “especially to orgasm”. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! A little background I started masturbating at an early age as many of you may have, not knowing what it
When Masturbation Is No Longer Private – Playing With Yourself For Your Dominant Read More »
I can’t say that everyone gets into trouble without admitting that I get into trouble so here goes. I get into trouble. Not regularly or habitually, but sometimes. I’m in trouble right now in fact. Some of my punishment completed but I have a few weeks of “no pop” to get through yet. As a
You’ve Been a Bad Submissive: Learn How to Atone and Forgive Yourself Read More »
I know I say I use FetLife for a lot of my ideas on things to write about, and it’s true. There are many novices on there and the multitude of questions and topics that come up help me generate a lot of thoughts that I can put into words, opinions and hopefully helpful advice
There Is No Such Thing as Vanilla Life When You Are 24/7 Read More »
There are a few non-sexual things that just do it for me, things that I get totally involved in until everything else just melts away. Often to the detriment of everything else as I’m sucked into a whirling vortex of OCD and tweaker heaven. Especially when it comes to grocery shopping and menu planning. Which
Beginning Domestic Service: Making The Most Of A Frugal Food Budget Read More »
I know that if you spend any amount of time online in kink related social networks or chat rooms you will encounter the following person a time or two. This person identifies as sub and through their writing, you notice they treat every single Dominant as if they are serving them. Whether it be by
False Submission: Insta-Subs Online Read More »
How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM experiences? Or maybe on FetLife or your blog? Sharing photos has been something I have done from the very beginning. For a long time, though, I was uncomfortable showing my face in any fetish pictures since I was partly worried about the risk of being outed and
Showing Face: How Time Has Changed ThisGirl’s Perceptions of Sharing Photos Online Read More »
