There’s nothing really super glamorous about my life, but I thought it would be a nice change of pace to write something a bit different from my usual and give you the readers a little peek into what an average day is for me. My days start usually at 6:30 am when the alarm goes […]
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Tequila Rose Read More »
This is a guest post by Lazlo Toth. So much of what we do in this lifestyle has an aura of gravity and seriousness about it. From the clothing and accouterments, we choose to wear, to the names we give ourselves, to the things that we do in our relationships and our play. Dominance and submission
Humor and Submission: Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two) Read More »
One of the hardest things we do as submissives is asking for play. For many of us, coming out and saying we want play feels like we are topping from the bottom, stepping out of our submissive boundaries and doing something that isn’t in our character. But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.
How to Ask for Play and Why It’s So Hard For Submissives To Do Read More »
In the post Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning, I address the matter of presenting a petition to a potential Master. However, I didn’t fully address that space between the time of presenting the petition and (hopefully) the collar, at least not at length. But, this can be one of the most trying times for
That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar Read More »
Feeling uncertain about what’s expected of you as a submissive? You’re not alone. This beginner-friendly guide unpacks the realities of D/s dynamics, clears up common myths, and helps you explore your own needs and boundaries. Learn how to talk about expectations with a Dominant, spot red flags, and build a relationship that fits you both. Whether you’ve already entered a D/s relationship or are still figuring things out, this article offers guidance, clarity, and reflection prompts to support your journey. Because submission isn’t one-size-fits-all—and you deserve to feel seen, safe, and empowered in your role.
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya of Underhishand.com. Sometimes I get punished for not following a rule, doing something I know I’m not supposed to or vice versa. Those punishments seem perfunctory. It’s an integral part of our lifestyle, this discipline, and punishment. Maybe just to keep the roles we each live clearly defined.
The Punishment Place: Dealing with Punishment as a Slave Read More »
I’ve spoken to you about Safe, Sane and Consensual and about how it is the first safety mantra that people adopt as they learn about BDSM and kink relationships. Most BDSM munch groups around the world use SSC to define the play that is acceptable and how they prefer to present themselves to the vanilla
RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra Read More »
Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you’d like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and
Preparing for Time When Your Dominant is Away Read More »
This is a guest post by Boundobedience. I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their
So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know Read More »
The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without its own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the
Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play Read More »
I didn’t know I was submissive when I was in my last vanilla relationship. I never would have guessed it at all and would have denied it if someone made the suggestion. I was too independent to be submissive (so I thought). I did, however, have a lingering fascination with rope and bondage after my
Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship Read More »
It’s common for relationships that are D/s in nature to start out in the bedroom and then slowly move to fill part or all of your life. But the daunting task of adjusting to that transition is enough to scare people away from ever doing it or from maintaining it for very long. Not only
Transitioning from Part Time to Full Time D/s: How to Work Through the Challenges Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Everything your partner is doing is driving you crazy. They leave the toothpaste cap off. There was no note to let you know where they went off to that morning. There is fast food trash in your car when you hop in to go to work. The list
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 2 – Oxytocin Read More »
Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is
The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM Read More »
Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM before but you are excited and scared for the upcoming session. What’s going to happen? What will you expect to see and do? A scene is in
The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens? Read More »
Being submissive doesn’t mean giving up your needs. This article explores how to identify, communicate, and prioritize your personal needs in a D/s relationship. From emotional safety to structure and love, you’ll learn why honoring your needs is essential for thriving in submission—and why settling for less isn’t an option.
You’re Allowed to Have Needs—Even in Submission Read More »
In the immortal words of Whitesnake: “And I know what it means/To walk along the lonely street of dreams/And here I go again on my own.” I’ve been released from my Dominant. This was my first D/s relationship, so I don’t have any experience to compare this to. It’s not like a Vanilla break-up. No, not
The Importance of Keeping It All Together After Being Released From a Collar Read More »
When you are a single submissive it can feel like a lonely place. Every kinky place you go it seems like everyone is already in a relationship and there is no room for you. But that’s not true; being a single submissive can be a special time in your exploration and development. When you walk
Being a Single Submissive in a Couple’s World Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McLean. Why do people kneel and let other people order them about and hit them with things? It’s perhaps the most common thing I get asked when people find out my sexual interests. Why, why, why? There are volumes of things written about this but, being as I’m a
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 1 – Adrenaline Read More »
I’ve written on the site about how you can work with the partner you have to bring out their Dominance or feel submissive in a subtle way and because of that, I have received a lot of messages of frustrated people trying to make their partner dominate them. The scenario seems to be the same, their partner
You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant Read More »
