Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things
Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It Read More »
This is a guest post by Jessica. Personally, I have had a lot of experience with being overwhelmed by all I have to do around the house, but there are things you can do to make it feel less stressful, less like you are climbing a never-ending mountain. Don’t worry, you are not alone, and
Domestic Servitude: Struggling With Being Overwhelmed Read More »
About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps
Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast! Read More »
I am new to a Dom/Sub relationship, for years I chose the wrong men because I was not sure what I needed. I have desired to be a sub for years and now I am acting on it, I have been given this site from Dom Friend who wants me to do some research before we meet. So
The Best Books for a Novice Submissive Read More »
Continuing from my previous article on preparing for your Dominant’s absence, today I want to talk about things you can do to help feel connected when you are not able to be together. In the last article, you learned a few good coping mechanisms for times when you feel alone. Working on hobbies, hanging out with
Connecting With Your Dominant While They Are Away Read More »
There are probably two very sensitive and deeply moving confessions that a slave could make – admitting to being territorial and/or jealous. These demons are a complete terror and have visited many relationships since the beginning of time. In order to move about freely and enjoy the fruits of a healthy M/s relationship, they need
Back Off Bitches! Feeling Territorial and Jealousy as a Slave Read More »
Explore the emotional power of erotic humiliation and degradation in BDSM. This guide breaks down key differences, challenges misconceptions, and offers personal insight into how these taboo dynamics—when practiced with consent and care—can foster intimacy, catharsis, and self-discovery for those ready to explore vulnerability in a safe, consensual space.
Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! – Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya from Underhishand.com. I live a fairly isolated lifestyle. I suppose in comparison to some people, you could say that I live an extremely isolated life. It’s not unusual for me to go days on end without ever leaving the house. I don’t answer the door, I don’t answer
Thoughts on Isolation and Feeling Alone Read More »
This is a guest article by greeneyedDeviant. As an experienced bottom, I’m often asked about scene safety. But, let’s face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. Here are a few suggestions I’ve found useful for safely preparing to play in a scene. Your Health Things like
Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes Read More »
There’s nothing really super glamorous about my life, but I thought it would be a nice change of pace to write something a bit different from my usual and give you the readers a little peek into what an average day is for me. My days start usually at 6:30 am when the alarm goes
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Tequila Rose Read More »
This is a guest post by Lazlo Toth. So much of what we do in this lifestyle has an aura of gravity and seriousness about it. From the clothing and accouterments, we choose to wear, to the names we give ourselves, to the things that we do in our relationships and our play. Dominance and submission
Humor and Submission:  Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two) Read More »
One of the hardest things we do as submissives is asking for play. For many of us, coming out and saying we want play feels like we are topping from the bottom, stepping out of our submissive boundaries and doing something that isn’t in our character. But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.
How to Ask for Play and Why It’s So Hard For Submissives To Do Read More »
In the post Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning, I address the matter of presenting a petition to a potential Master. However, I didn’t fully address that space between the time of presenting the petition and (hopefully) the collar, at least not at length. But, this can be one of the most trying times for
That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar Read More »
Feeling uncertain about what’s expected of you as a submissive? You’re not alone. This beginner-friendly guide unpacks the realities of D/s dynamics, clears up common myths, and helps you explore your own needs and boundaries. Learn how to talk about expectations with a Dominant, spot red flags, and build a relationship that fits you both. Whether you’ve already entered a D/s relationship or are still figuring things out, this article offers guidance, clarity, and reflection prompts to support your journey. Because submission isn’t one-size-fits-all—and you deserve to feel seen, safe, and empowered in your role.
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya of Underhishand.com. Sometimes I get punished for not following a rule, doing something I know I’m not supposed to or vice versa. Those punishments seem perfunctory. It’s an integral part of our lifestyle, this discipline, and punishment. Maybe just to keep the roles we each live clearly defined.
The Punishment Place: Dealing with Punishment as a Slave Read More »
I’ve spoken to you about Safe, Sane and Consensual and about how it is the first safety mantra that people adopt as they learn about BDSM and kink relationships. Most BDSM munch groups around the world use SSC to define the play that is acceptable and how they prefer to present themselves to the vanilla
RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra Read More »
Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you’d like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and
Preparing for Time When Your Dominant is Away Read More »
This is a guest post by Boundobedience. I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their
So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know Read More »
The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without its own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the
Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play Read More »
I didn’t know I was submissive when I was in my last vanilla relationship. I never would have guessed it at all and would have denied it if someone made the suggestion. I was too independent to be submissive (so I thought). I did, however, have a lingering fascination with rope and bondage after my
Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship Read More »
