Full Question: Ending a dynamic as a sub feels SO hard. The desire to please is so strong. Help? Answer: Breaking free from a relationship not serving you is hard, no matter how you identify. As a submissive, you may have a high inclination to submit to the person you no longer want to be […]
How do you end a dynamic as a submissive? Read More »
Full Question: How can we make a collar ceremony, like on which condition does that append? Answer: Creating a collaring ceremony is a significant milestone in a D/s relationship, marking a deep commitment between partners. The ceremony can occur at any point after the negotiation phase, though some may wait until they intend their commitment
How do you create a collaring ceremony? Read More »
Imagine being submerged underwater, the pressure building in your ears, the air squeezing out of your lungs, and the darkness closing around you. It’s a terrifying sensation that can leave you feeling helpless and desperate for a lifeline. The experience of submissive burnout is similar – you feel like you’re drowning in expectations, responsibilities, or
Drowning in Exhaustion: Navigating Submissive Burnout Read More »
Full Question: Can you have more than one submissive trait? Answer: First, I’d like to say that this question is a bit ambiguous. I will try to answer the question as I interpret it, but if this is your question and I didn’t answer it in the way you wanted, please contact me. Submissives come
Can you have more than one submissive trait? Read More »
Full Question: What’s the difference between submissive and slave? Answer: I’ve been hanging on to this question for a while, because while I have a viewpoint, labels and definitions in BDSM often have contention to them. There is no one definition for these terms within the BDSM and kink lifestyle. It’s individually defined. Generally, people
What’s the difference between submissive and slave? Read More »
Full Question: I’m very new to The Lifestyle and have absolutely no idea where to start. I’ve done tons and tons of research but don’t know how to go from passively researching to actively participating. Do you have any advice on where to start? Answer: Starting to explore BDSM actively is never easy and can
Full Question: How do you move on from a dynamic that was ended in an unclear way or with unresolved issues? We are still in the same community, and I don’t want things to be this awkward, but they are very uncomfortable right now. Answer: Navigating a breakup can be challenging, especially when unresolved issues
How do you move on from a failed relationship while in the same BDSM community? Read More »
Full Question: Good resources on begging examples? Feel like I’ve gone through many and they weren’t great. Answer: Great question! Being asked to beg for something is one of the simplest forms of erotic humiliation within a BDSM scenario, for others, it’s a part of everyday interactions with their Dominant partners that emphasize humility. It’s
Do you have any good begging examples? I need help. Read More »
Full Question: Do you ever feel conflicted about being submissive and feminist? Answer: I believe that the feminist movement can move in parallel to what submission is to the D/s world. It’s about making choices, even if the choice is not to have any options. Hardcore feminism tries to state that any situation where the
Do you feel conflicted about being submissive and feminist? Read More »
Full Question: I’ve heard many articles or podcasts discuss munches, but I have a hard time finding any near me or articles/discussions on where to find your people or meetups. I’m coming up short! Any advice on how to find a community of like-minded people to connect with? Answer: There used to be many places
Where do you find the local BDSM community? Read More »
Full Question: How do you get into subspace? Answer: Great question! Everyone will have different success rates for reaching subspace, and some people never get there. But let’s not dwell on that because subspace isn’t the only goal for playtime, right? Subspace is a mental and physical response to the high levels of endorphins produced
How do you get into subspace? Read More »
Full Question: Do you think it is a must to have a contract? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having one. Answer: I can understand your hesitation, so let’s get this out of the way right up front: BDSM contracts are not required to have a happy, healthy relationship. Many relationships function just fine without
Is a BDSM contract a must-have? Read More »
Full Question: How do I feel safe using safewords again after they have been violated/ignored by a previous partner? Answer: I’m so sorry to hear you had a bad experience with a previous play partner. First and foremost, prioritize your healing from the previous violation. Take the time you need to process what happened and
How do I feel safe using safewords again after they were ignored previously? Read More »
Full Question: How to be more confident in BDSM when new? Answer: It can be hard to be confident in BDSM, no matter how much experience you have. But when you are new, I feel that confidence comes from a few places, and the good news is that you can work on all of them!
How to be more confident in BDSM when new? Read More »
Full Question: What are some ideas for keeping long-distance D/s engaged and spicy? Answer: Building an engaged long-distance D/s relationship takes a lot of patient work, but with some simple ideas, you can keep your relationship going with lots of connection and spicy play. First, a long-distance relationship will rely on a lot of communication,
What are some ideas for keeping long-distance D/s engaged and spicy? Read More »
Full Question: How can I avoid getting too attached to or developing romantic feelings for a Dominant with whom I’m not in a romantic relationship? Answer: Whether you’re in a casual relationship with this Dominant or just a really good friend and are beginning to crush on them, trying to avoid developing feelings of love
Full Question: How do you take care of yourself during sub drop when your dominant is either too busy with other things to be able to help you or experiencing dom drop themselves? Answer: I can empathize! Managing sub drop on your own can be done and I recommend all submissives have a sub drop
How do you take care of yourself during sub drop when your Dom isn’t available? Read More »
Full Question: Can you talk about punishment dynamics? What’s fair? What’s too much? How do you negotiate it? Answer: A punishment dynamic is a consensual agreement between partners that the Dominant one will watch and correct poor behavior in the submissive. This can be from following rules and particular instructions or used to break bad
What is a punishment dynamic? Read More »
Full Question: Tips for a new submissive going into the lifestyle with a Dom who is also new. Answer: What an exciting time! When you first embark on exploring BDSM and D/s relationships, there’s a lot of new information that is likely to overwhelm you. It can be difficult when you have so many questions
What are some tips for couples who are both new to BDSM? Read More »
Full Question: I am a new dom. How do I not come off as a fake dom? Answer: Understandably, when you are new, you feel like everyone is judging you as “real” or “fake,” and it can be hard to find real connections. So, let’s start with what a fake dom really is and talk
I’m new, how do I not look like a fake Dom? Read More »
