I think it is important to break this down into each side of the slash, so here are the general descriptions for some of the more common s-types. (Disclaimer: there is no one right answer/definition, this is based on generalized experience; labels should always be the START of a discussion, not the end of one. […]
What are the different types of submissives? Read More »
We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play
Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem? Read More »
Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your
Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)? Read More »
Struggling to speak up when something feels off in your dynamic? This article offers real talk and practical tips for submissives who want to give feedback to their Dominant without stepping out of their role.
Question: Last week, in the introductory phase, I had a Domme ask me what humiliates me. I hesitated to tell her because it also embarrassed me. Hope that makes sense. I ended up telling her, but it was very uncomfortable. What are your thoughts on this question, and am I obligated to answer this?
Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me? Read More »
With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening to: Erotic Awakening Podcast is
What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts? Read More »
Submissive Frenzy, or “sub frenzy,” is an intense psychological state where submissive desires feel overwhelming and urgent. It can cloud judgment, leading to risky decisions and emotional turmoil. Understanding its causes and signs—like desperation for connection, impaired judgment, and risky behavior—can help you navigate it safely. Read more here!
When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy Read More »
Question: My husband and I are in a D/s relationship. However, I’m the one who runs the house, takes care of the kids, and is always the one “in charge.” How can he and I maintain our dynamic? How do I stay in touch with my submissive side? Answer: Being the one who manages the
How Can I Stay Submissive While Running the Home? Read More »
Cultivating a positive mindset is essential for every submissive’s journey. Learn how to reframe negative thoughts, practice self-care, and embrace self-compassion to strengthen your submission and personal growth. Discover practical tools to shift your perspective and build confidence in yourself and your dynamic.
Solo-Coaching: Nurture a Positive Point of View Read More »
It is really easy to understand managing vanilla relationships around others (including kids living at home). It boils down to understanding one crucial concept: discretion. Discretion: the quality of behaving or speaking in a way to avoid causing offence or (IMPORTANTLY) revealing confidential information. We can mostly agree that kissing your spouse “bye” in front
Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home? Read More »
Question: I’ve been a voracious reader of BDSM and D/S erotic novels for years and am not sure if I enjoy it just as entertainment or because I feel like something might be missing from my life. How do you know if you are a submissive, and if you think you might be, how do
Question: Is there ever a time when it’s ok to tell your Dominant no when he tells you to do something? Answer: Absolutely. While submission involves obedience and trust, it doesn’t mean blind compliance. There are several situations where saying “no” is not only acceptable but necessary: A healthy D/s dynamic is built on mutual
Is it ever okay to say no to your Dominant? Read More »
When a BDSM scene goes wrong, knowing how to respond can make all the difference. This guide for submissives explores common issues like ignored safewords, emotional triggers, injuries, and consent violations—plus practical steps to recover, protect yourself, and build resilience for future play. Stay safe, informed, and empowered in your BDSM journey.
What to Do When a BDSM Scene Goes Wrong: Important Advice for Submissives Read More »
Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for a sub without a dom?
Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to. In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t share those interests. However, this
Curious about hucow play in BDSM? Discover a personal journey into embracing a playful, sensual cow identity. Learn how to explore your own hucow persona, build a unique “cow-tfit,” create immersive scenes, and connect with a welcoming community. Perfect for beginners ready to moo-ve into this fun and empowering kink!
Be a Cow! My Journey into Hucow Play Read More »
Full Question: Can two BDSM submissives have a regular vanilla relationship? What happens as the couple grows closer, and one person wants the other to change to a Top/Dom? Answer: Let’s start by saying there is no “normal relationship.” Can two submissives have a successful vanilla relationship together? The answer is “yes, two people can
Can Two Submissives Have a Relationship? Read More »
Full Question: I’ve been with Master for almost 9 months, and although I love our relationship, I feel there is a disconnect with my submission. Recently, I’ve been acting out and just messing up. It’s not all a conscious decision; I just do some of it without thought or plan. I don’t know how to
How Do I Reconnect with My Submission When I Feel Disconnected? Read More »
Full Question: I’ve identified as a masochist for a fair bit now, but I have recently discovered that I can’t handle as much as I used to. I’m just wondering, can someone who once enjoyed pain not enjoy it as much anymore? Answer: It’s absolutely possible for a masochist’s tolerance or preference for pain to
Can you have different tolerances to pain over time? Read More »
Full Question: I want to be submissive sexually but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner? Answer: The term you’re likely going to be using more readily while you search for a partner is “bedroom-only” submissive. And your partner would then be a “bedroom-only” Dominant. This type of relationship is more common than
How do I find a bedroom-only Dominant? Read More »
