Full Question: I am meeting a Dom for the first time…and am uncertain whether I should ask him if he has any preference in terms of what he’d like me to wear? I like him and would like very much to wear something that I know would please him…but I am acutely sensitive to the fact that he is not my Dom…and I do not wish to overstep some unseen line… Should I just ask him? Or should I just go as I wish?
Answer:
Meeting a dom for the first time is exciting and nerve-wracking. And for many, the question is, “what should I wear?” how should I act, what will we talk about, will we kiss?
Asking if they have a preference for your clothing choices is giving them a small amount of control over the first meeting. You should decide how much control you accept. Consider if you have any limits on their selections, such as undergarments or revealing attire.
Another thing to consider is it is correct not to assume this person is your Dominant, and I understand your hesitation. But there is a difference between assuming power exchange exists and being open to asking what they might like.
If you are comfortable with these considerations, ask them if they would like to offer suggestions for your attire. Make it a negotiation, so if you disagree with what they request for your first meeting, you can express that to them.
If you are uncomfortable giving him some control in voicing his preferences for your attire so soon in your exchanges with him, then go as you wish.
Your comfort will help you with any anxiety or unease you may feel during the first meeting.
All this to say, it’s up to you. You aren’t overstepping some line by asking someone if they have any preferences before you meet, especially if you can veto suggestions that fall outside your comfort zone.