Question: What is sub drop? How do I explain it to my partner?
Answer:
Great question! I think once you know what it is, you will be able to explain what it is to your partner, so let’s break it down.
Sub drop is a physical and sometimes emotional crash after an intense play or dynamic session. As the blood chemistries produced during the scene fade, the physical and emotional ‘highs’ we enjoyed plunge our bodies into a withdrawal phase. The endorphins and other hormones like adrenaline and oxytocin released during play leave your body in such a way that it takes time to rebuild the balance of hormones in your system.
Sub drop can happen minutes or days later. Some people experience sub drop every time they play, and others never do. It’s a part of your unique biology whether you’ll have to adapt to getting sub drop or not. While most of it is physical, there are emotional side effects as well. The entire range of symptoms is vast and personal.
Here are some common physical symptoms:
- Fatigue
- Remember – pain can make you exhausted and if you experienced pain during play or during recovery it can make you tired.
- Crying
- Aches and pains
- Stomachaches
- Cold hands or feet
- Muscle stiffness
- Cravings for sweets
- Chocolate isn’t a myth, especially for people with more estrogen. Cocoa boosts estrogen levels, which help you manage stressful situations.
- Chills
- Headaches
- Nausea
- General malaise
Emotional sub drop symptoms can manifest days later and is a deep psychological process that leads us to feel lost, disconnected, and in a depressed mood for hours or days.
Some emotional symptoms include:
- Sadness or melancholy
- Sense of loss or grief
- Overly sensitive to small inconveniences
- Anxiety
- Agitation
- Depressed mood
- Loneliness
- Insecurity
- Difficulty concentrating
- Fear
- Confusion
- Guilt
- Shame
How people manage sub drop starts with the immediate aftercare when play is over. Think of it as the clean-up and cuddle period after sex. Because you may have done some things during play that are intense, pushing boundaries, and is exhausting, you should plan this time to take care of each other’s needs.