Full Question: I want to be involved in the kink community near me, but I fear for my teaching profession. Any advice?
Answer:
That’s a very valid concern, and being cautious is the name of the game. If you attend local events within your school district or even the city, there is always a possibility that you will be recognized. It’s unavoidable.
The people attending who could reveal you to the school board must also explain why they were there. And if it’s a secret, as it often is, many won’t jeopardize their anonymity for that. I’d say most people (myself included) are always overly concerned with what other people think. More often than not, the kink community operates on the “don’t out others” principle. But only you (and your partner) can decide what the risk/reward is of being in public.
It’s recommended to use an alias for these events. Don’t share photos of anything you get up to. Use a different email address for any sites like FetLife.com.
To take a different approach to this question, you should expect (and hope!) to meet people you know in your local community. That’s exactly what community means. Over a long time span, it’s bound to happen eventually. So plan on it.
I have occasionally seen people I know outside kink at events. It’s nice to deepen a relationship with an existing friend or acquaintance. Is it awkward? Yes, but only the first time. Sometimes, all that happens is a knowing nod before they move on. I like to think of that as “I know you, but let’s not acknowledge that here.”
However, it is a valid concern nonetheless. I suggest you travel outside the school district or city to engage in the kink community. Traveling is what many people do who don’t want to be recognized within their own locale and to miss the bulk of people they are likely to meet socially or at work.
I wish you the best of luck finding a kink community you can join and feel comfortable in.