This is a guest post by The Beginner.
I am very much aware of how mild and tame the following post is. This isn’t an account of extreme BDSM. It isn’t an account of me becoming a slave, or what I would consider myself becoming a full on sub. It is simply a retelling of my first and only foray/insight to this world.
I had never been into BDSM before, to be honest, I had never even heard of the term. Oh, I had heard of S&M and all the stereotypes of people being chained up and whipped. But I had never experienced dominance, either physically or mentally.
Last year I met Master who has changed my life in more ways than one. He is the kind of man I would never have thought to encounter. He is extremely charismatic, experienced and full of sexual personality. And with me, utterly sweet and affectionate when He chooses to be. However, I also see another side to Him which at first scared and excited me.
We had been on a few dates and had slept with each other, and the sex had been mind blowing. However, He had let me glimpse the darker side of His personality which I knew existed, on a few occasions. I will be honest and admit it scared me. I had to question why this was so. In the end, I grudgingly came to the conclusion that the answer lay in the fact that I was so turned on by it. It was new, dangerous and exciting.
I opened up to Him and confessed as to why I had become a little strange with Him. I asked Him if He wanted to help me experience this. His reaction was more positive than I could ever have wished for.
He broke me in very gently and carefully. Paying attention to my feelings, noting my responses and reacting accordingly. It became obvious that this was not the first time He had done this.
Our play has consisted of handcuffs, spanking, strangulation, use of ropes to bind my limbs to render me useless, mild tickle torture, nipple and clit torture with the use of clamps, Japanese rope bondage involving hair torture, latex tape bondage, mind play and role play. He has absolute control over me in the bedroom. I exist to please Him. He punishes me if I am disobedient, and boy does He reward me when I’m good. I have an overwhelming compulsion to obey His every command and He knows this. In return, I have unbelievable sex, multiple orgasms, and the most attentive Master.
I was stunned at the complexity of emotions felt during our first play. Nervousness, desire to obey, being turned on beyond belief, and the weird combination of extreme harshness coupled with extreme tenderness on Master’s part. That took me a while to get used to.
Through all our play (and He has told me I am still at the beginner stage) I have never trusted anyone as much as I trust Master. I have never felt as safe and secure with anyone as I do with Master. I am aware that there is plenty more to come…
The Beginner is an innocent in life. The Beginner is a fool in life. The Beginner is a whore of life. You can reach her via email at thebeginnner@googlemail.com.