Sluts: Debunking Another BDSM Myth

This is a guest post by Slut M as a response to SubWise #6 about BDSM Myths.

According to the mythological story, a slut is a downtrodden woman who by nature or by circumstances is propelled to debase her body in sexual desires. And so the story goes: these sexual desires control her and her behavior is based on sexual impulses with no thought to consequences or ethics. A slut cannot take her place in rational society, relegated to a shadowy existence because no decent man, woman or child would or could relate to a woman who cannot control her sexual desires. A slut is always a rejected woman who no man would acknowledge as being in relationship with her. A slut has given up on her own morality and therefore has no right to insist on kindness, respect or love. She cannot be redeemed; her broken spirit must accept this invisible deformity that manifests itself by insatiable desire for sexual activity. She is a glutton for sex.

The myth instructs our young women who blossom with joy and excitement as their first sexual feelings begin to surface….control your feelings or you could become a slut. Adolescent girls that become school sluts are reviled by their peers all because they like sex. So the hidden slut emerges in adolescence. Girls and boys who suppress their powerful sexual desires and will eventually lose touch with that part of themselves. The hidden slut becomes the unknown part of the self and yet remains to propel and motivate the slut as he or she matures and experiences life with all its joys, disappointments and pain. The slut makes incorrect choices and learns to live without sexual passion and release. The slut is locked in the soul and may remain hidden throughout one’s life.

BDSM offers a key to unlock the slutty soul. Our sluts are people who mature to a level of sexual freedom with dignity and ethics. Sexual feelings find expression instead of suppression. The body, mind and soul find comfort in sexual intimacy that flows to and from their partners. The slut is not confined by gender, age or experience. A slut is giving, using his or her sexual energy to satisfy their partners and bring pleasure to those who embrace sluttiness as a virtue. To be called a slut is a compliment in the BDSM world. A slut is a giver who enjoys releasing sexual passion for the fulfillment and pleasure of others who can reciprocate in the exchange of intimacy in either BDSM or vanilla play.

A slut is dominant or submissive with the overwhelming desire to experience oneness with another by joining bodies in sexual play. A slut can achieve self-actualization in the scene by embracing his or her true nature for the mutual benefit of partners. Play reaches a spiritual level as emotional doors are opened, seen, and embraced instead of feared as the myth would have us believe. Joy, release, and contentment flow through other aspects of life among family, friends and the work environment because the slut knows where he or she belongs. BDSM offers a profound acceptance of the self through the expression of sexual passion that in turn enriches ones entire life and future experiences and decisions.

Slut M is a submissive who entered the scene in July 2008 by receiving her first spanking from her Dominant. She and her Dominant have been pursuing a M/s relationship since then and expect to fully achieve this status in the future. Otherwise, she is single-parent raising 2 teens and working.