In August of 2008, I entered the world of BDSM and, within a few months, found a steady play partner. Visiting his home was like visiting the most amazing toy store a lifestyler could ever imagine. He had all kinds of toys from homemade to special order. I quickly learned about various implements; I found out the ones I liked and the ones that I hated with every ounce of my being. Time passed and we parted ways and I quickly learned that not only was I without a steady play partner, I was without that amazing resource of toys.
Ultimately, I learned a very valuable lesson. Just because I am a bottom does not mean that I should not have a variety of toys that I own. The more the idea came to fruition, the more I became convinced that I should not be without a decent toy bag, just because I was without a steady partner. Plus, there is the safety factor in that some toys should simply not be used by more than one person due to possible health risks. So I began to acquire my own toys and now possess a fairly decent “starter set” of BDSM gear.
I was gifted a beautiful singletail by a friend who understood my desire to own one of my own. Now, at this time, I am not a fan of the singletail but should I choose to have one used on me, I know that the only skin it has cut is mine. I won a gorgeous walnut paddle from a raffle at my dungeon. I surfed eBay for good deals on crops and now my best friend and I have matching ones. I taught myself how to make floggers that fit my hands, that have vivid pretty colors and are practically one of a kind item. I have two toys bags, one for rigid items like crops and paddles and another for bendable items like floggers and my singletail. My soft items bag is my favorite and I carry my staplers, removers, and ribbon for corset lacing. I can actually go to a party, without a scene planned and have a fun, impromptu scene and do it with a top who did not bring a toy bag.
Best of all? I did all of this in less than a year on a very limited budget.
- Local tack shops are great places to find reasonably priced riding crops and jump bats-both lovely additions to any toy collection.
- You may even luck up and find “vet wrap” which runs about $2/roll and is wonderful for bondage.
- Wooden spoons can be found practically anywhere and you can literally spend as little as a dollar for one.
- Kitchen specialty stores are an absolute dream and if you have never seen an “egg topper” you may want to see what this wicked little beauty is all about. I just searched it as I was typing this article and I found one for $5. Not bad for a fun item, but girls, you may want two of them.
- eBay has an “everything else” category where you can find BSDM items but I prefer to look for items in other sections. Sometimes you can find a better quality for a lower price.
- Finally, your local thrift store may hold a treasure or two. Recently I purchased a pink and black baton case for $4 and use it now as a toy bag for my non-flexible toys. I just brought it home and washed it in the washing machine then let it air dry. Now I have a cute, fun toy bag suitable for a girly-girl and, it didn’t break the bank!
So, for any bottom or submissive who does not have a toy bag, let me ask you this-why? Even if you have a partner, there are lots of reason to have things that “belong” to you. For example-your toys may be used as a reward. Or, they could be used when you play with someone else, be it as a top or bottom. It is easier than you think to build a good toy collection, so why not start now?
If you are interested in what else can go in your personal toy collection, read lunaKM’s post, A Single Submissive Packs a Toybag.
Laney is a bottom from Alabama who has been an active participant in the BDSM community for two and a half years. She is the Special Events Coordinator for The Red Chair in Birmingham and is a greeter on FetLife. She has a fondness for shiny things and loves to play with staples, scalpels and knives. You may find her on FetLife as LaneyDoll.