The collar you wear is a reminder of your submission and your relationship with your Dominant. It can mean the same as a wedding ring or that you are submissive to them for a certain period of time. More often than not, the Dominant is the one who gave you that collar. But is there something that you can give them that would work similarly? I don’t believe so.
When I think about why I value my collar, the importance I give it is one of treasure and connection. It’s a physical reminder that I am submissive to someone who I care for and trust completely. I can touch it in times of stress and know that it means he’s not going anywhere and that I can relax in his gaze. It really does mean a lot for me to be able to wear it.
But not everyone applies the same reverence to the collar they wear.
The collar is a symbol, it belongs to the Dominant but the submissive gets to wear it as a symbol of their ownership. That collar also works as a symbol of Dominance for the one who gave it, right? So in effect, the collar works as a relationship symbol and not one side or the other. Ask any Dominant what the collar means and it will mean ownership – to them.
If we dumb it down to an example of a dog and their owner, the dog may have a collar as a symbol of ownership, but the owner doesn’t need anything to remind them they own the dog. The collar does that. While we are not dogs and I’m not insinuating that a collar in a D/s sense has only the importance equal to a dog collar, it works in a similar fashion. The collar you wear is a symbol to the Dominant that they dominate you.
A Dominant doesn’t need a symbol to remind them that they are Dominant because you wear it. They see it on you and that’s all the physical reminder they could need.
But I really want to give him something tangible to have!
That’s understandable. You can find gifts that will mean something special to them if you’d like, but don’t expect that anything you give will have the same meaning as the collar you have.
Ideas for gifts to you Dominant at the time of collaring:
- A special new tool/toy
- A key on a chain
- A piece of jewelry
- An ornate depiction of your contract, if you signed one
What other ideas do you have? Let me know in the comments what your thoughts are on giving your Dominant something to symbolize the relationship.