Full Question: Advice for therapists who work with BDSM clients?
Answer:
I’d be happy to provide my thoughts on improving therapy for BDSM persons seeking therapy.
First, it’s always hard for us to open up about these things, and we’ve been told to keep it a secret for a long time. We may need a bit of encouragement to share how we live our lives and what makes us happy. A therapist can help normalize alternative relationships and sexual identities by demonstrating an open mind, not just saying you have one.
Learn the terminology and language. If you research BDSM and what safe and healthy relationships look like when power exchange or kink is a part of them, it will help us be more at ease. If you don’t know a term, ask us to define it. But also, please go off on your own time and learn more about the terms you didn’t know. It’s a way to give us a common ground to stand on if we know you understand the language, how we describe ourselves, and what we do.
Power exchange relationships function differently than mainstream relationships, but that doesn’t make them unhealthy or wrong. Learn the difference between consensual authority transfer and abuse so that when we talk about what is fulfilling, you can identify if we’re being abused or in a functional and positive relationship.
When we open up about our lives this way, don’t be afraid to ask for clarification on how being in a BDSM relationship serves us or about the building blocks of a D/s relationship.
Here are a few excellent books that can help you learn about caring for kinky clients and what healthy D/s relationships look like.
- Leading and Supportive Love by Chris M. Lyon
- The Leather Couch by Stefani Goerlich
- Kink-Affirming Practice by Stefani Goerlich
- A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy by Rhea Orion
Resources for Kink-Friendly Therapists Amazon List: https://amzn.to/3JPZ3be
Two kink-friendly therapist certifications can help you further your practice.
https://www.therapycertificationtraining.org/certification/kink-conscious-certification
https://sexualhealthalliance.com/kink-informed-certification-program
Also, once you feel confident you can help the BDSM community by being a kink-friendly therapist, get yourself listed in professional directories like Kink-Aware Professionals.