Service-oriented people come from all walks of life and have various skills and knowledge to make them the partners that many crave. When you are a service submissive, demonstrating that you have a few key skills mastered can help strengthen the service dynamic. Anyone can learn to be a good service submissive, even if you […]
The Key Traits of a Service Submissive – They Can Be Learned! Read More »
If you’ve spent more than a few minutes researching BDSM, even just scrolling through Submissive Guide, you know that negotiation is one of the cornerstones. Negotiation and consent are the primary ways BDSM is distinguished from abuse – they are essential parts of kinky play. But far too many people gloss over how important it
The Importance of Safety, Risk-Awareness and Consent in Pre-Scene BDSM Negotiation Read More »
Do you have a good idea of what your submission looks like? Just about every single BDSM book, website, or experienced kinky person has defined submission at one time or another. The dictionary definition just doesn’t cover all the nuances that living in a submissive lifestyle can include. If you’re brand new to BDSM or
The Basic Tenets of Being a Submissive in a D/s Dynamic Read More »
If I asked you right now to stop and say aloud all the things you wanted, what would you list? A new home, a new car, more money, set up your own business, a relationship or a new job? Sound familiar? It’s really easy to list off wants and desires. We often make plans to
Solo-Coaching: Identifying Unmet Needs and How to Reprioritize Them In Your Life Read More »
Being a submissive in a D/s dynamic can give you many opportunities to explore new things. In my power exchange relationship, that new opportunity was non-sexual service. Our first few experiments were clumsy and crude. Still, we’ve grown to enjoy the moments of service that I provide. It’s changed and deepened our dynamic over time.
Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic Read More »
When Chris M. Lyon, a relationship consultant, and D/s expert, approached me with news of a virtual course, “The Path of the Submissive Partner,” made specifically for the submissive partner, I was intrigued to know what she had created. I’ve talked about how impressed I was by her book, “ Leading and Supportive Love,” in a review
Review of The Path of the Submissive Partner Virtual Course Read More »
When I first learned about BDSM, and then that I enjoyed pain play as a masochist, there was a moment when a Top that I had asked to play with asked me a very specific question, at least I thought it was specific at the time. “Stingy or thuddy?” Did I prefer, sting or thud
Be More Specific About Pain – When a Tool is More Than Sting or Thud Read More »
Now that we’ve covered the list of supplies and talked about what might be lovely additions to the shave service itself, it’s time to take you through the steps of how to give a relaxing sensual shave service that will have your Dominant craving it every single time they need a shave. Since I do not have experience
Step By Step How-To for the Perfect Hot Towel Shave Experience Read More »
When you want to make a shave the special experience it can be, you need to start with a basic supply list. As you get more experienced and if you want a more in-depth service you can add a few more items to your repertoire. If you missed the first part of this series, The Ultimate
Supplies You’ll Want to Have For The Perfect Shave Experience Read More »
As a submissive, we are often bombarded with people telling us that we have to know our wants and needs; from when we first start out, to when we find a relationship, from when we start struggling with this or that, to exploring something new. Wants and needs are quite important. But what’s also important
One of the more intimate things you can do for your Dominant partner is to help care for their body in some way. Personal grooming service is pretty popular for submissives who are into service because it allows you to get up close and personal with your Dominant. If your Dominant has facial hair, a
The Ultimate Guide to Giving Your Dominant a Smooth Sensual Shave Read More »
One of the most daunting things we do in our life is knowing you want to change or need to change. We all aspire to improve our lives and wish to take on the challenge to make those changes, but quickly we’ll realize that motivation is the key to that change. You can’t become a
Solo-Coaching: Three Key Elements to Fire Your Motivation for Change as a Submissive Read More »
It’s very easy to get overwhelmed and have far too much to do with what feels like no time to do it. I’ve also been caught up with waiting until the last moment to do something when I knew about it for a lot longer. That pressure is not healthy! But there are steps we
Solo-Coaching: Prioritize Your Submissive Goals With a 4-Box Matrix System Read More »
Uniqueness is underrated. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, are comparing themselves to others in order to fit in, but it’s the fun little unique aspects of a relationship that make it special. Kindling those unique things is especially important for me in a mono-poly and likely most other relationships. Every relationship is unique
Writing a letter to your future self is a common journaling practice to help you see how happy you are in the present moment, but the writing a letter to your past self is equally helpful. While you can’t save this for you to read later, the exercise is still beneficial, especially if you’re feeling
Why Writing a Letter To Your Past Self Will Help You When Your Struggling in Submission Read More »
I think we’ve all done it. We’ve set a goal for ourselves or we have a big project that we want to accomplish and then, within a few weeks or months we feel overwhelmed with the whole thing and want to give up. So, we set that goal again later that year because we’d really
Don’t Let Your Big Goals Intimidate You: Break Them Into Smaller Steps Read More »
It’s time for a celebration on the site! This year is Submissive Guide’s tenth anniversary! It’s going to be another great year here on the site and I’m ready to celebrate this milestone with you. Today we’re looking back at the top articles on the site but keep an eye on the site for further
Celebrate 10 YEARS of Submissive Guide With The Top 20 Articles of All Time Read More »
The last time we were doing some solo-coaching here on Submissive Guide we had just gotten started trying to learn what coaching is and how to hold meetings with yourself, journal your thoughts and understand your current goals. I even bundled it up into an ebook if you want the whole first series. Solo Coaching
Are You Ready for More Solo-Coaching? Check Out Where Your Journey Will Progress Next! Read More »
I was raised to say “please,” “thank you,” and apologize if I did something wrong. This politeness is ingrained in us as children. Being polite serves as a way to express empathy and respect for others. However, the phrase “I’m sorry,” has become a reflex rather than a meaningful expression. Many of us use it
Breaking the Apology Habit: Alternatives to Overusing ‘I’m Sorry’ Read More »
Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. Even this site has numerous articles covering the basics of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into
What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You – Get The Facts Read More »
