When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn’t happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn’t do […]
Entering Sub Space Do’s and Don’ts Read More »
Music always has a place in play for setting the right mood. We all have our own preferences but here are three playlists that I go back to again and again. Romance Soft Play and Bondage Below are groups that I find have a wide variety of sounds that are great for bondage and softer
3 BDSM Scene Music Playlists For The Dungeon and Bedroom Read More »
Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an agreement in place that your Dominant can play with others. About three years ago KnyghtMare and I had a discussion about opening the relationship up for SM play with others. From what I am exposed to
Novice submissives all over trying to find a Dominant to be with. I’ve talked with so many that value some experience in their Dominant choices but what of novice Dominant? Are drive and desire not enough? Are they left to their own devices? I recommend everyone give a moment to think about the value in
What Novice Dominants Really Want in a More Experienced Submissive Read More »
…and why you should stop fussing about it. I’ve been reminded again today as I lay about sick with a snazzy summer flu of feeling like a failure or useless that I can’t serve him and even worse when he brings me my medicine and tucks me in bed for another afternoon nap. So, I
8 Reasons Why Your Dominant Takes Care of You When You Are Sick Read More »
“Are you kinky?” he asked as he leaned in for a kiss. “What? Um… no, I don’t think so. Am I?” The word kinky is not exactly a clear term to define. It is a word that means different things depending on the context but maybe we can come up with a basic definition and
Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky Read More »
I’ve been writing about submission here for a long time. I do my best to give a positive image to submission for those who are new and learning about BDSM and possibly wanting to explore it with their current of future partners. There’s nothing wrong with the way I write and have been prompted on
Submission is Not All Sunshine and Puppies: The Realities of Submission Read More »
When KnyghtMare started developing desires for play that I wasn’t interested in or wasn’t capable of there was a fear in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid that he would leave me for someone else that wanted to do these things. I felt very insecure about my place in his life and was
Every Submissive’s Worst Fear: When Your Dominant Wants to Play with Others Read More »
For the service submissive, one who gets their pleasure from serving in some capacity it’s nice to have a section of your library reserved for books that can help you with improving and utilizing new methods to make your service more complete. I’d love to hear your suggestions for books to include in a service
The Best Resources for a Submissive’s Service Library Read More »
Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I’ve been doing it for almost 8 years now and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. The teacher always asks for me to pull some people together and says that he gets a lot of excellent
Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid Read More »
In my first few months of submission, I was asked about my ideal relationship by a Dominant friend of mine. It’s something that I still ask novice submissives when they come to me asking how to find a Dominant that they are compatible with. My answer reflected ignorance and misunderstanding. I believed that my ideal
Who Has the Greatest Responsibility in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
Within weeks of the realization that I wanted to be more than a kinky bed partner, I made the personal definitions of submissive and slave. Since then, over 7 years ago they have changed only slightly. So little that I had decided that based on my definitions I could never and would never be a
Why I Used to Believe I Could Never Be a Slave Read More »
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a refresher on the basics of BDSM. If you are just finding this site, I hope that the wealth of information you see will help you understand yourself and the world in which you are curious. For novices, the word BDSM is a huge scary word. For the experienced,
What Is BDSM All About? Read More »
The excitement of a new D/s relationship is often the first thing that a novice submissive seeks. How else are they going to learn about play, and submission than in a relationship, they might reason. There is a better, more prepared way than jumping into a relationship with someone before you are ready. Taking the
Know Thyself, Don’t Rush Into a Relationship Until You Know These Six Things Read More »
When I started my journey into submission, my perceptions of what a submissive was were very shallow and incomplete. I believed being submissive was a passive personality trait, and it didn’t require much ‘work.’ That passivity encouraged the laziness I had fostered in my previous marriage. Now, I’m far more aware that a submissive is
Learning Good Observation Skills for Better Submissive Awareness Read More »
It’s happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven’t faded yet. Your Doctor’s appointment is this afternoon, what do you do? First of all, don’t panic. Then, don’t cancel your appointment until you have read this post.
Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises Read More »
Dirty talk can unlock deeper connections and sizzling pleasure in your relationship. Explore this beginner’s guide to overcome fears, learn tips, and master sexy talk in the bedroom.
Moans, Groans, and Beyond: A Beginner’s Guide to Dirty Talk Read More »
In today’s instant culture, the information we want to find can be discovered with just a click of the mouse. It’s fantastic for the kink community because that means more people are discovering this part of themselves earlier and are jumping in with both feet at times. What’s dangerous is that more and more information
Making Assumptions: Try to Learn Everything and Make Sure Your Partner Knows Too Read More »
Recently in the chat room here on Submissive Guide, there has been a discussion about emotional dependence on our Dominants and the relationship. Just about every relationship has to have interdependence in order to thrive. After all, if we continue to maintain an independent life there’s really no development of a relationship is there? In
Emotional Dependency in D/s Relationships Read More »
Presented with the dilemma of being outspoken, independent and strong-willed when submissive desires crop up, what do you do? Are these personality traits incompatible? I’m here (and living proof) that no, they are not. You can be all of these things and still be submissive. A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, “You’re a strong submissive
Strong-Willed and Opinionated: Can I be Submissive? Read More »
