When I say “boss” what I really mean is “in control of some part of your life.” So maybe you own your own business. Maybe you’re a team leader or supervisor. Hell, maybe you’re a single parent raising a kid or two, working two jobs, and basically being two people. Whatever “boss” means to you, […]
Can You Be a Boss and a Submissive? Read More »
You’re a submissive in your first D/s relationship. It’s not the exact relationship you want – maybe your partner’s still married, maybe you are, maybe you’re long-distance – but it’s okay. You love how submitting to your Dominant makes you feel. The voice they use, the kink you do together, and the realization it makes
What To Do When You’re Unhappy in Your D/s Relationship Read More »
Struggling to find the perfect name for your Dominant? Explore a list of creative, respectful, and meaningful title suggestions for Dominants in BDSM relationships.
What Do I Call My Dominant? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide I hit the jackpot with my first (and quite likely only) Dom. He is kind and considerate and well, treats me like a queen. He makes being submissive to him so wonderful. But, in the rare times, we don’t see eye to eye and he tells me what he wants, he will
Feeling Like a Parrot: Saying What He Wants to Hear Instead of a Sincere Response Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I am new to the lifestyle, and have never had a true Dom. However, now there is a Dom that has shown interest in me, alongside his current submissive/fiancee. While it would be a long distance relationship (LDR), I am interested in the offer, but unsure as how to pursue. To give a
How to Approach a Couple into Kink and Polyamory when You are New Read More »
Dear SG, My Dominant has a habit of teasing me without any following ‘relief’. He will get my motor running and then leave me all riled up. He gets busy with something else. Sometimes this teasing can go on for weeks, even months because of his busy lifestyle. How can I cope with the frustration?!
Dear Submissive Guide, I’m new to the scene and realizing I’m very interested in submission and masochism. I’m also gay and transgender (an FtM who is attracted to men). I’m gearing up the courage to go to a play party, and while I might not play at my first one I will want to play
How To Navigate Public BDSM Play as a Transgender Person Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, How do I find a Dom? I know I want to be a sub, but I’m lost. I don’t know how to find a Dom and live the way I want to. Sincerely, Looking for a Dom Hey there! You’ve asked a question that every single submissive asks themselves at some point:
How Do I Find a Dominant? Read More »
Hello SG, I’m struggling with a problem that has been following me for quite some time now. My Dominant and I have been through hell and high water, involving ‘light’ cheating (sexting each other, meeting up, but did not have sex) while I was away on holiday with family. This was almost a year ago. I
Regaining Trust – He Cheated and I’m Not Over It Yet Read More »
Ask a new parent, kinky or not, about their sex life, and they’ll probably say, “What sex life?” When you’re only getting a couple hours of sleep at a time or feeding a baby around the clock, sex is usually the last thing on your mind. While D/s relationships tend to have more communication about
BDSM and Kids: How Your Kink May Change Over the Years Read More »
With kids, it’s inevitable that they’re going to ask questions that make you want to curl up into a ball, cover your ears, and sing, “La-la-la, I can’t hear you!” This isn’t a kink thing, it’s a parent thing. However, as a kinkster, there’s a chance that, eventually, they’ll see or hear something and ask
BDSM and Kids: When Kids Ask Awkward Questions Read More »
When someone asks me how it’s possible to be kinky when you have kids, I know they’re imagining that it must be difficult to have a scene, enjoy kinky sex, or do anything remotely kinky as a parent. It’s not impossible to get kinky, but it requires creativity and discipline. It also depends on how
BDSM and Kids: Getting Kinky With Kids Around Read More »
As a submissive who has to interact with the outside world whether that’s work, family, or going to the grocery store, you already know that it can be hard to switch back and forth between roles and expectations. Frankly, after a long week of being my vanilla self, I’m exhausted, cranky, and usually feeling not-so-submissive.
BDSM and Kids: Handling the Role of Parent and Submissive Read More »
When I talk about my life as a kinkster, I talk about being a parent of two kids. It shocks a lot of people to know I’m in a 24/7 D/s relationship and a parent. A lot of people ask, “How can you be a parent and a submissive?” I always imagine there’s a bit
BDSM and Kids: Can You Be a Parent and a Kinkster? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, I am a sub and I have an amazing Master. He is loving, caring, respectful and just everything a sub could ask for. He collared me 6 months ago and we moved in together 2 months ago. We get along great in every area so far. The problem is this, lately, I’ve
Things Have Changed and I Feel Insecure In My Relationship Read More »
Hi SG, I’m relatively experienced when it comes to submission. I’ve submitted in play to a number of delightful Dommes and pushed my boundaries nicely over the years. I’ve never had a long term D’s relationship, though. I’m just entering into a relationship with a lady who is highly sexed and thoroughly enjoying the power.
How Do I Help My Dom Give Me What I Need Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, Is it normal for your Master to want to play and have sex with others? Sincerely, Curious Dear Curious, I could give you the glib answer and say, “There’s no such thing as normal” but that doesn’t help you much, does it? Do some people, Dominant or submissive, want to have open
My Master Wants to Have Sex With Other People Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide,I have recently entered into a D/s relationship with a man that I’ve had an on/off sexual relationship with for 10 years. I would describe or sexual encounters up to now as vanilla, but intense and occasionally mildly aggressive. But we both have an interest in D/s, he has experience, I don’t. I’m
Sexual Injury From Fisting – Should We Try Again? Read More »
Dear SG,Me and my boyfriend have been talking about this. He’s convincing me into it. We haven’t experienced anything yet. I’m new at this, he’s a dominant. But he’s leaving for 9 months deployment and I don’t know how to do this long distance relationship. Sincerely, New to D/s Dear New to D/s, I’m sorry to hear
How Do I Manage a Long Distance D/s Relationship Due to Deployment? Read More »
