I think that many of us would agree that while playtime is not the most important aspect of our relationships, it plays a fairly vital role in our happiness in those relationships. It is, after all, one of the things that drive us to realize that mainstream relationships just don’t fit right for us, the […]
Playtime Activities You Can Do in Long Distance Relationships Read More »
My Dom and had our first experience with wax play a few months ago, and I wanted to share a few, quick, thoughts and bits of advice if you’ve been toying with the idea of adding wax to your toy chest. What is Wax Play? It’s a form of temperature play, where a special kind
Wax Play Review and Thoughts Read More »
One of the things that I think many practiced people of the BDSM community pride themselves on is their ability to positively follow up sex. We like to throw around the word “after care” like it’s vernacular rather than jargon—the way that we also generally assume having a first aid kit with a pair of
6 Important Activities to Include in Your Aftercare Routine Read More »
Due to the traditional components of the Dominant/submissive dynamic, the topic of financial dependency seems to spring up in a lot of discussions. Is being financially dependent integral to being a 27/4 submissive? Does long term submission mean giving up your job? Is it healthy, or does it raise red flags? So forth, etc. Like
Thinking About Financial Dependency in Your D/s Dynamic? Read More »
The end of the year looms, and in these darkest of days, all our flaws, our struggles, and our shortcomings seem to shine brighter for the lack of light. And so our journeys to create new and better versions of ourselves commence. We’ll go to the gym every day. We’ll eat right. We’ll stop procrastinating.
Create SMART Goals For Your New Year’s Resolutions and Reach Your Goals This Year! Read More »
Maintaining your role as a sub in the middle of a scene is pretty easy to do, but the conversion from situational submissive to full-time sub can present a number of fairly interesting challenges as you settle into your full-time role. One of the strangest full time submitting challenges that I’ve found is dealing with
Submitting While One of You is Sick Read More »
A month or so ago, I wrote a brief review of the Bullet Journal system, and of how I’ve found it to be really helpful in keeping my household duties and side projects in order. My review focused primarily on the standard ways that you can use the book to get yourself into the habit of
Bullet Journal: BDSM Scene Reflection Spreads Read More »
You’ve made the decision that you’re going to keep a blog, you’ve picked your host, you’ve designed your site, and now it comes down to the writing. And then you clean the dishes, and the bathroom. And you take a walk. And you build a condo for the squirrels to live in, and you think
31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 21: Your First Blog Post Read More »
When I assign a writing task to my students, the two predominant questions that I receive are “What do I write?” and “How do I write it?” If you’re not familiar with the writing process, the task of writing in a journal or using a blog has probably provoked the same two questions for you;
31 Days to Submissive Journaling – Day 14: Finding Your Voice Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, So, I am totally a newbie. I do have a Master but due to our personal/vanilla lives, it is limited & very part-time. My Master has not participated in the lifestyle for 12 years. My question is do you have any info on transitioning from submissive side back to my vanilla? We
Create a Transition: Moving Between D/s and Vanilla Lives Read More »
My Dom and I have been living together in 3-6 month increments for the last two years now, and over that time, we’ve developed/are developing a bit of a routine which centers predominantly on my taking up a housewife/secretarial role in our relationship. I’m in charge of the majority of domestic tasks, including the organization
Submissive Journals: Bullet/Analogue Journal Review Read More »
Maybe you know a frequent apologizer, or maybe you’ve been surprised, but at some point in your life, you’ve probably had someone tell you, “Hey, I’m sorry!” and your immediate response was, “What on earth are you apologizing for?” If you’re like me, and you completely lack a brain-to-mouth filter, your reaction probably came tumbling
The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary Read More »
Just as it’s important to know how to apologize, it’s important to know how to receive one. Saying the wrong thing after someone has apologized to you can make the person apologize feel like you’re dismissing their attempt to make things right between the pair of you. Make this mistake often enough, and you’re creating
The Art of Apology: Receiving an Apology Read More »
Apologizing is great, of course, but there is such a thing as apologizing too often. I had a biology teacher in high school who wouldn’t accept when his students said, “Sorry,” for mundane transgressions. “Don’t say sorry all the time,” he’d say, “or people are going to start thinking that you’re a sorry individual.” We
The Art of Apology: Don’t Over Apologize Read More »
Once you know that you owe someone an apology, you’ve got to know how to apologize. Nothing is worse than being on the receiving end of an apology that sounds more like it’s a backhanded wave of secondary attacks, and the last thing that you want to do is turn your apologetic conversation into a
The Art of Apology: How to Apologize Read More »
We all know that communicating well with our partners is one of the most important (and often hardest) aspects of keeping a relationship healthy. It’s something that’s talked about a lot in the BDSM community when we talk about meeting our wants and needs, as well as in the vanilla community where we address building
The Art of Apology: The Importance of Apologizing Read More »
I just don’t feel very dedicated to being submissive. I uttered the admittance with a growing sense of disappointment in myself. I want to, but I just don’t feel it It was during the Easter holiday, over Skype chat. My Dom was at work, and I knew it was unfair to tell her at that particular
Reacting to Change in D/s Dynamics Read More »
One of the biggest challenges we face in the kinky community is the acceptance of kinks that do not align with our own. A group of individuals can bond over a shared desire to bend over someone over their knees and give him a good spanking. But introduce an individual who enjoys hanging others by
Why SSC and RACK Are Both Important Safety Acronyms to Know Read More »
I’ve been a practicing submissive for roughly five years now; most of that time has been in a long distance capacity, but regardless, my role as a sub has played an integral part in shaping my role in my relationship with the person who is not only my Dominant, but (I hope) my life mate.
Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style Read More »
Despite being commonplace in kinky relationships, explaining the appeal of being spanked to someone who is new to the scene or curious about it can be difficult. There is often the immediate assumption that being spanked is enjoyable because the sub is masochistic, and while not entirely untrue, I can’t in good conscience say that
Explain It To Me: The Draw of Being Spanked Read More »
