When BDSM is an essential part of who you are, dating requires more than physical attraction. This article explores compatibility, honesty, and realistic expectations, encouraging readers to seek partners who genuinely share their relationship goals and values rather than hoping someone will eventually embrace a lifestyle they never wanted.
Finding Your Dominant: Dating when BDSM is Something You Need Read More »
Healthy submission still requires honest communication. This article explores how submissives can ask for what they need, express limits, raise difficult concerns, and speak with vulnerability without abandoning the dynamic. It also emphasizes directness, trust, positive problem-solving, and adapting communication to the needs of both partners.
Communicating While Submissive Read More »
What can everyday submission look like when an ocean separates you from your Dominant? One submissive shares how emails, clothing choices, journaling, photos, shared activities, and daily routines help maintain service and connection across the distance while she balances her D/s relationship with work, parenting, and everyday responsibilities.
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – WKslittleone Read More »
Coming out about kink can feel vulnerable, especially when you’ve already experienced rejection for another part of your identity. This personal reflection compares coming out as lesbian with later being open about BDSM and D/s, exploring lost friendships, changing relationships, authenticity, and the importance of finding people who accept you.
Coming Out of the Closet… Twice Read More »
Shame and fear of judgment can make it difficult to embrace your submissive or kinky identity. One submissive shares her struggle with accepting submission, being a Little, and reconciling BDSM with her religious upbringing. Her reflection encourages readers to question outside judgment, let go of embarrassment, and move toward self-acceptance.
Be Not Ashamed – Accepting Who You Are and Where You Came From Read More »
What does everyday submission look like when chronic illness affects energy and ability? Autumn shares her life in a developing Master/slave relationship, including meal service, medication, shared routines, rest, and learning each other’s needs. Her story shows how submission can adapt to health limitations without losing connection, care, or meaning.
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Autumn Read More »
Jealousy can surface even in loving, established polyamorous D/s relationships. One submissive shares how insecurity, loneliness, and fear of being loved less can appear when a Dominant divides time among multiple partners. She offers practical ways to manage those feelings through communication, reassurance, distraction, and recognizing personal jealousy triggers.
Taming the Green-Eyed Monster – Managing Jealousy in a Poly Family Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. There is a whip in my closet that is an antique. It’s the kind that Drayers would use on their horse teams when driving a carriage. When I’ve been particularly bad, or good, Master will unhook that puppy from the rope it’s hanging on. Those moments, as he
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 4 – Endorphins Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Do you ever have that feeling when your Master is working you over and waiting for you to say “uncle,” that you will be damned if you’re going to say it before his arm gets too tired to flog you anymore? I do. I’m a brat through and
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 3 – Testosterone Read More »
This is a guest post by Nicolette Hart. I am a very independent, strong woman. I have never liked asking for help from others or for money from anyone. I have always been able to figure things out on my own. But when he came along all charming mysterious, he was different from any man I
How Master Took Control of the Finances Read More »
This is a guest post by Miss Jessica. Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives, slaves, and all others who fit into categories that fall under the umbrella term ‘bottom’. The degree
More Red Flags for Everyone – Personal Safety and Warnings Read More »
This is a guest post by Jessica. Personally, I have had a lot of experience with being overwhelmed by all I have to do around the house, but there are things you can do to make it feel less stressful, less like you are climbing a never-ending mountain. Don’t worry, you are not alone, and
Domestic Servitude: Struggling With Being Overwhelmed Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya from Underhishand.com. I live a fairly isolated lifestyle. I suppose in comparison to some people, you could say that I live an extremely isolated life. It’s not unusual for me to go days on end without ever leaving the house. I don’t answer the door, I don’t answer
Thoughts on Isolation and Feeling Alone Read More »
This is a guest article by greeneyedDeviant. As an experienced bottom, I’m often asked about scene safety. But, let’s face it, the excitement leading up to the scene can cause you to forget to prepare appropriately. Here are a few suggestions I’ve found useful for safely preparing to play in a scene. Your Health Things like
Be Prepared: Put Your Health and Safety First For Successful BDSM Scenes Read More »
This is a guest post by Lazlo Toth. So much of what we do in this lifestyle has an aura of gravity and seriousness about it. From the clothing and accouterments, we choose to wear, to the names we give ourselves, to the things that we do in our relationships and our play. Dominance and submission
Humor and Submission: Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two) Read More »
This is a guest post by kaya of Underhishand.com. Sometimes I get punished for not following a rule, doing something I know I’m not supposed to or vice versa. Those punishments seem perfunctory. It’s an integral part of our lifestyle, this discipline, and punishment. Maybe just to keep the roles we each live clearly defined.
The Punishment Place: Dealing with Punishment as a Slave Read More »
This is a guest post by Boundobedience. I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their
So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Everything your partner is doing is driving you crazy. They leave the toothpaste cap off. There was no note to let you know where they went off to that morning. There is fast food trash in your car when you hop in to go to work. The list
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 2 – Oxytocin Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McLean. Why do people kneel and let other people order them about and hit them with things? It’s perhaps the most common thing I get asked when people find out my sexual interests. Why, why, why? There are volumes of things written about this but, being as I’m a
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 1 – Adrenaline Read More »
This is a guest post by Dolly. My wanderings into BDSM and Dom/subspace started a few years ago with my partner, initially as a within-bedroom-limits play. In a whirlwind of exploration, delicious pain, laughter and the most deviant of confessions, we now find ourselves in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship. As rewarding, grounding and indulgent as
Dolly Learns To Balance Kink and Everyday Life Read More »
