How long should I talk with a Dom online before a face to face date?

Question: How long should I communicate with a potential dom on an online dating app? I’ve been speaking to this dom for a week, and he hasn’t initiated any coffee or drink meet-up yet. We are supposed to explore this dynamic in real life. Answer: There’s no hard rule for how long to chat before […]

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I don’t like the second sub my partner is considering, how can I tell them without losing my relationship with them?

Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like walking a tightrope.  What if

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How to Reach and Maintain the Submissive Mindset in BDSM

Getting into the submissive mindset can feel like chasing a moving target—blissful one moment, elusive the next. This article explores what the submissive mindset truly is, how to access it more consistently, and practical ways to sustain that feeling without burning out. Whether you crave a 24/7 headspace or just want to reconnect more often, this guide offers realistic advice, personal insight, and tools to help you find your way back to submission when you need it most.

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I want to be sexually submissive, but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner?

This may be easier than you think, dear s-type!  It is important to remember that finding the right Dominant or Top through dating or shopping around can sometimes feel challenging. I liken the vanilla dating pool to a bowl of cereal. Lots of individual options floating around. Now take a spoonful out and in there-

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Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words?

Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what

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What is a princess submissive?

The “princess submissive” is a unique archetype in the D/s world—graceful, playful, and full of charm. She (or they) brings a sense of elegance and fantasy into submission, blending soft vulnerability with a desire for attention, care, and adoration. A princess submissive isn’t just about being spoiled. It’s about being cherished. These subs thrive on

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Solo Coaching: Embracing Your Shadow Side: A Submissive’s Journey to Self-Acceptance

What if the parts of yourself you try to hide are the exact keys to deeper, more authentic submission? In this article, we explore your shadow side—the emotions, traits, and desires you’ve labeled as “bad”—and how bringing them into the light can lead to personal growth, stronger D/s dynamics, and greater self-acceptance. You’ll also learn practical tools like journaling, self-reflection, and the Johari Window to guide you on this powerful journey of integration and healing.

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Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem?

We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play

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Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)?

Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your

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Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me?

Question: Last week, in the introductory phase, I had a Domme ask me what humiliates me.  I hesitated to tell her because it also embarrassed me.  Hope that makes sense.   I ended up telling her, but it was very uncomfortable.    What are your thoughts on this question, and am I obligated to answer this?

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What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts?

With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening to: Erotic Awakening Podcast is

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