Question: My husband and I are in a D/s relationship. However, I’m the one who runs the house, takes care of the kids, and is always the one “in charge.” How can he and I maintain our dynamic? How do I stay in touch with my submissive side?
Answer:
Being the one who manages the house and kids doesn’t mean you can’t maintain your submissive role. It’s all about perspective and intention—submission isn’t just about following orders; it’s about service, devotion, and surrender in ways that feel fulfilling to you and your Dominant.
Reframe “Being in Charge” as Service
You’re not just running the household—you’re creating a space that supports your Dominant and your family. Instead of feeling like you’re in charge, think of it as:
✔️ Managing the home in a way that aligns with your Dominant’s expectations.
✔️ Providing care for your kids as an extension of your submission.
✔️ Making decisions while keeping your Dominant’s guidance in mind.
Ways to Stay Connected to Your Submission
1️⃣ Rituals – Kneeling, wearing a symbolic item, or sending a simple “How may I serve you?” text keeps submission present.
2️⃣ D/s Time – Even 15-30 minutes before bed where you fully engage in your dynamic helps reinforce your roles.
3️⃣ Submissive Language – Using titles or phrasing things with deference (“Would you prefer I handle it this way, Sir?”) can subtly shift the power dynamic.
4️⃣ Acts of Service – Small, intentional gestures like laying out their clothes or asking permission for things can bring submission into daily life.
5️⃣ Check-Ins – A weekly or monthly conversation ensures you both stay aligned and connected.
6️⃣ Give Yourself Permission – Submission isn’t about passivity—it’s about intentionally choosing to serve in ways that fit your life.
Your role as a wife, mother, and household manager doesn’t erase your submission—it just means you get to redefine it in a way that works for you.