Whether you’re in a 24/7 D/s relationship or just exploring, this category delves into roles, power exchanges, and the emotional intricacies that make these connections unique.
One of the many delightful side-effects of moving to the same country as my Dom is that we get to actually DO couple things. We get to go out on dates, go out with other couples as a couple, invite people to our home for dinner parties—all of the grown up stuff that my parents […]
Publicly Domesticated, Privately Dominated – Subtle D/s in Public Read More »
The other day, my little sister gentlerayne, sent me a text message. She told me that I needed to check out this post in a Fetlife group. And boy, was she angry. Being angry isn’t her normal behavior. She’s very soft-spoken and a gentle soul. I knew whatever made her angry, was probably gonna irritate
Being a Little Doesn’t Come with a Size or Age Limitation Read More »
I have this habit whenever I read something that has hyperlinks in the article, I tend to open those hyperlinks. This causes me to usually have anywhere from 10-20 tabs open in my browser. But anyways, I was reading something and it led me to a website. At the same time, I was reading the
BDSM Isn’t Just About Power Exchange Read More »
When I first accepted BDSM into my life, it was like opening a hidden door to my soul and walking through it. That destination, that place of arrival, had nothing to do with sex. (Well, maybe the tiniest bit.) My marriage was dying. It was my second marriage (quite the accomplishment for being in my mid-twenties) and the first
Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better Read More »
So what sort of BDSM partner is it you’re looking for? It seems like such a simple question, after all when we think about BDSM we immediately picture a casual encounter where anything goes. However, that is simply not the case, much like any situation involving two consenting people the options available to you are
BDSM Relationships: Strings or no-Strings Read More »
When we imagine an ideal world, it’s pretty safe to say that for most of us, that perfect world wouldn’t include illness, disabilities, and death. Everyone would have bodies that are strong, capable, and able to do any and all activities the heart desires. On this side of creation, that type of world doesn’t exist,
M/s and When Life Happens: Dealing With Health Challenges and Death Read More »
It’s not pleasant, but it’s a reality that many relationships face, even when those relationships are kinky. It’s not the preference of one activity over another, but the desire for any activity at all; it’s the age old question: are you up for it? and the difference between your response and your partner’s. Having a
Coping with Different Sex Drives in a Relationship Read More »
In 2014, a local kink community member contacted me to say she had heard about an author compiling essays regarding different styles of the M/s dynamic, suggesting I respond regarding our 1950’s relationship. I did, and what I discovered in the correspondence about the project was surprising. The author had told me that when setting out to
An Overview of 1950’s Head of Household Style Power Exchange Read More »
Far too often I hear stories of submissives who are unhappy in their relationship because their partners don’t care about their orgasms or listen to their sexual needs. Some Dominants go as far as saying that they should get enjoyment out of being used, told they are topping from the bottom by asking about their
Why Your Sexual Needs Matter in a D/s Relationship (or ANY Relationship) Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. “I am looking for a NEW SUBMISSIVE to collar as my slave.” Why? This comment is perhaps one of the more common statements made by Male Dominant names in Internet chat rooms. It
The Need for Speed – The Desperation of Some Dominants Read More »
Do you have any advice for someone in a triad that is constantly feeling like a third wheel because the other female sub puts a constant emphasis on being “wife” and legally married to the male dominant of the relationship? Saying we are equal to him, but her actions and words don’t back it up
Poly Conflict: Feeling Like a Third Wheel in a Triad Read More »
Some of us live our D/s lives out in the open, letting family and friends know who and what we are – and dealing with any fallout from people who don’t understand the lifestyle. To you, I have much love and respect. I’m not there yet…and maybe I never will be. Others, like myself, keep
How to Deal With the Question of Being Kinky and a Parent Read More »
My partner and I just went through the strenuous process of apartment hunting and I realized along the way, that there are many similarities between apartment hunting and hunting for a compatible partner. These similarities are applicable both in vanilla and kinky relationships, but I believe, they are more pronounced in kink. When you begin
How Searching for a Compatible Partner is Like Apartment Hunting Read More »
Using a dating site to find a partner that is interested in power exchange and BDSM is a difficult prospect. Many people abandon mainstream sites in hopes that kink social networks and other forums will provide them with a partner that is compatible and looking for the same kind of relationship. I feel that the
The Secrets to Writing a Successful BDSM Dating Profile Read More »
Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s
M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings Read More »
I was just wondering if it okay to feel almost addicted to your Dom? Like when my Dom is away for too long I feel sad and lonely, but if He is gone for a day or two I get really depressed not being able to be near Him. The feelings I have for Him
I Feel Addicted to My Dominant, Is This Normal? Read More »
We were conversing over Skype. It was late on her end and not so late on mine. We were talking about the distance between us, again. I’d just come back from seeing her in person for the first time, and we were sharing our surprise at how much we missed each other only days later.
Eight Miles – Looking For a Smooth Transition for Long Distance Relationships Read More »
When I started learning about submission it had nothing to do with “lifestyle” or “relationships” or “24/7”. It was about feeding a desire. Sure, much of that was masochistic play but not all of it. So, when I met people and they were saying they were lifestyle submissives or in 24/7 relationships I looked at
Learning To Be a 24/7 Submissive Is Like… Read More »
This is a guest post by Mina Button. She has written for Submissive Guide previously and you can find her writing here. When I first heard about the idea of mono/poly, a relationship in which one partner is monogamous and the other partner isn’t, I thought it could never possibly work. Well, maybe it could work
Jealousy and Mono/Poly Relationships Read More »
I admit that it’s been over a decade since I was in a long distance relationship, but I know that even with that thought, the complexities of a long distance relationship are still a common part of what I deal with on a daily basis in responding to emails from you. I can never forget
Tips for Developing Long Distance Relationships Read More »
