It’s easy to fall in love, but hard to find the right person to catch you. ~ @iam_jhurlz Dominants the world over are unique and different – just like we are. And when you are on the look out for the one to partner with it can get overwhelming. The qualities to look for in a […]
The Outline of a Good Compatible Dominant Read More »
Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an agreement in place that your Dominant can play with others. About three years ago KnyghtMare and I had a discussion about opening the relationship up for SM play with others. From what I am exposed to
Novice submissives all over trying to find a Dominant to be with. I’ve talked with so many that value some experience in their Dominant choices but what of novice Dominant? Are drive and desire not enough? Are they left to their own devices? I recommend everyone give a moment to think about the value in
What Novice Dominants Really Want in a More Experienced Submissive Read More »
…and why you should stop fussing about it. I’ve been reminded again today as I lay about sick with a snazzy summer flu of feeling like a failure or useless that I can’t serve him and even worse when he brings me my medicine and tucks me in bed for another afternoon nap. So, I
8 Reasons Why Your Dominant Takes Care of You When You Are Sick Read More »
When KnyghtMare started developing desires for play that I wasn’t interested in or wasn’t capable of there was a fear in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid that he would leave me for someone else that wanted to do these things. I felt very insecure about my place in his life and was
Every Submissive’s Worst Fear: When Your Dominant Wants to Play with Others Read More »
I’d commented on a thread recently on the topic of what makes a good dominant here on fetlife and I’ve been thinking about it a little more since then as I have had personal experience of both good and bad doms first hand and from stories and the experiences of friends also. Of course not everyone has the
What Makes a Good Dominant? Read More »
In my first few months of submission, I was asked about my ideal relationship by a Dominant friend of mine. It’s something that I still ask novice submissives when they come to me asking how to find a Dominant that they are compatible with. My answer reflected ignorance and misunderstanding. I believed that my ideal
Who Has the Greatest Responsibility in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
The excitement of a new D/s relationship is often the first thing that a novice submissive seeks. How else are they going to learn about play, and submission than in a relationship, they might reason. There is a better, more prepared way than jumping into a relationship with someone before you are ready. Taking the
Know Thyself, Don’t Rush Into a Relationship Until You Know These Six Things Read More »
I got engaged to my Master, Grimly, in September 2009. The engagement itself was pretty kinky since this took place at a fetish party that occurred whilst we were staying with like minded friends in Canada. Our engagement party ended up with me being dressed up as a schoolgirl, then as a maid, then in
Keeping D/s Alive Through Engagement and Marriage Read More »
This guest post is a honeymoon gift from Agog. The one thing I have learned since I started nosing around in BDSM is that I don’t know myself nearly as well as I thought I did. I thought it was all about sex, that what I felt was missing was something physical, but as I
What I’ve Learned From My Young Dominant Read More »
Recently in the chat room here on Submissive Guide, there has been a discussion about emotional dependence on our Dominants and the relationship. Just about every relationship has to have interdependence in order to thrive. After all, if we continue to maintain an independent life there’s really no development of a relationship is there? In
Emotional Dependency in D/s Relationships Read More »
As a woman, wife, and sub I often times feel like the weight of the world rest with me. In every relationship, there is give and take and a D/s relationship is no different. Who bears the brunt of the responsibility? As a submissive, our existence is solely to please our master, although often passed
The Balance of Responsibility in a D/s Relationship Read More »
My dominant, Grimly, and I are in a long distance relationship of 200 miles and have been since we commenced our relationship in 2005. To be honest, I never really planned on having a long distance relationship it just so happened that the dom I ended up being attracted to was that far away and
Going the Distance – How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship Read More »
Let’s start off with me telling you that I do have tattoos. I have one on my ankle that I haven’t looked at in a while and hope has faded (the name of a once love), my children s initials on my back that actually spell out BLT yes I’ve heard all the jokes! I
You Tattooed What on Your Ass? – Rational Thinking about Relationship Tattoos Read More »
They want submission but no emotional connection. Is conditional emotional attachment enough? Is He Emotionally Not Available, or Just Not Available? It is possible that emotional availability is not the problem at all — it’s just plain availability. All of us have busy lives these days. He probably has a job; he might have family
What to Do When Your Dominant is Not Emotionally Available Read More »
Ever since I entered “the lifestyle,” I have strived to attend as many educational demos as possible. My local dungeon, The Red Chair, offers a monthly educational demo on a wide variety of topics. Since I have always believed that we should never stop learning and teaching, I make an effort to attend those demos
The Returning a Collar After a Break Up Read More »
The reality of long-distance relationships, or any non-live-in relationship, is that you will have to handle periods of absence. It’s a painful and bitter reminder that you are not together and that your desires for each other have to go unquenched. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get through them with a few coping techniques.
Handling Absence in a Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
In the fall of 2006, my relationship with KnyghtMare was on the rocks. I was battling with submission and what it meant for my life with him. He was changing and growing more into his role. I think that we clashed because we just weren’t prepared for the changes in each other. I got in
When He Removes The Collar: The 3 R’s to Get You Back on Your Feet Read More »
The standard American “Disney” propaganda tells us in no uncertain terms that we are to hold our love and our bodies back until we meet “the one” with whom we will discover that magical connection. It will last forever and ever, and there will be happy endings all around. A lot of us, men and
“Being Loved” versus “Being In Love” Read More »
I know I say I use FetLife for a lot of my ideas on things to write about, and it’s true. There are many novices on there and the multitude of questions and topics that come up help me generate a lot of thoughts that I can put into words, opinions and hopefully helpful advice
There Is No Such Thing as Vanilla Life When You Are 24/7 Read More »
