This is a guest post by kaya from Underhishand.com. I live a fairly isolated lifestyle. I suppose in comparison to some people, you could say that I live an extremely isolated life. It’s not unusual for me to go days on end without ever leaving the house. I don’t answer the door, I don’t answer […]
Thoughts on Isolation and Feeling Alone Read More »
There’s nothing really super glamorous about my life, but I thought it would be a nice change of pace to write something a bit different from my usual and give you the readers a little peek into what an average day is for me. My days start usually at 6:30 am when the alarm goes
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Tequila Rose Read More »
This is a guest post by Lazlo Toth. So much of what we do in this lifestyle has an aura of gravity and seriousness about it. From the clothing and accouterments, we choose to wear, to the names we give ourselves, to the things that we do in our relationships and our play. Dominance and submission
Humor and Submission: Service with a Smile (and a laugh or two) Read More »
Feeling uncertain about what’s expected of you as a submissive? You’re not alone. This beginner-friendly guide unpacks the realities of D/s dynamics, clears up common myths, and helps you explore your own needs and boundaries. Learn how to talk about expectations with a Dominant, spot red flags, and build a relationship that fits you both. Whether you’ve already entered a D/s relationship or are still figuring things out, this article offers guidance, clarity, and reflection prompts to support your journey. Because submission isn’t one-size-fits-all—and you deserve to feel seen, safe, and empowered in your role.
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive Read More »
Being submissive doesn’t mean giving up your needs. This article explores how to identify, communicate, and prioritize your personal needs in a D/s relationship. From emotional safety to structure and love, you’ll learn why honoring your needs is essential for thriving in submission—and why settling for less isn’t an option.
You’re Allowed to Have Needs—Even in Submission Read More »
Things have changed a bit in our household in the past few weeks. The biggest change(and the one thing that has caused other things to change-yay snowball effect!)has been that I have started my German language course required by the immigration office This means that I now have class from 8:45 AM until 12:45 PM,
Being Submissive in a Vanilla World and How to Balance it Out Read More »
This is a guest post by an unknown author. It was found and marked as part of the public domain. Self-esteem relates to how you feel about yourself, whether you like yourself. Being submissive is not about being a “doormat” or a “lesser person”. But the sad thing is, many go through life feeling less
Self-Esteem in Submissives: Self-Talk, Affirmations and Self-Love Read More »
I LOVE “My Little Ponies: Friendship is Magic”. Sometimes in the evenings before bedtime, I will sit and watch episode after episode. My personal favorite is Pinkie Pie. I see a lot of myself in her. In the series, there’s a group, and they’ve dubbed themselves “The Cutie Mark Crusaders”. The reason why they call
What’s Your Cutie Mark? Read More »
The other day I read a post on a forum where a new submissive had asked if there was a reason she was turned down from a Dominant who said she was too eager. She wanted to know why eagerness was seen as a detriment to a new relationship when all she wanted to do
How Being Too Eager Is Not Always a Good Thing for a Submissive Read More »
I didn’t realize I had Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) until I was an adult. I started to type, “I didn’t realize I was OCD,” but I am not the embodiment of a mental diagnosis. I have a mental diagnosis. There’s a difference. When I was growing up, OCD was defined as being attracted to certain numbers, and repeating acts like
Kink and Mental Health: Temporary Relief Read More »
I went to a local kink event and as an icebreaker, the host asked everyone to say what kind of animal they relate to. When I said I relate to a lioness, I got a ton of strange looks. I suppose it makes sense. As a submissive, it might not seem like I’d relate to
I Am Submissive–Hear Me Roar! Read More »
Recently I heard something in the midst of a talk about obedience that just made me stop and really think for a moment – and I mean deep thought too! Delayed obedience becomes immediate disobedience; partial obedience is complete disobedience. Yes, my mind had to reflect on the matter of obedience. Honestly, I can’t say
Obedience: A Slavey Meditation Read More »
Whenever I frequent online groups, a common theme in them is telling the person asking a question to not be a doormat. Rarely do we ever get a description of what a doormat submissive is or how to prevent becoming one (or even if the person is actually a doormat submissive). There are many misconceptions of what
8 Ways You Might Be a “Doormat” Submissive and How to Stop Read More »
“She was afraid, however, that she hadn’t pleased him. She searched her mind for faults. She had obeyed all his commands, and he understood how difficult it was for her. He knew completely what it meant for her to be stripped naked and revealed to everyone, to be helpless and made public and that this
Am I Trying Hard Enough? Learning How to Make the Most of Your Inner Submissive Voice Read More »
Originally published April 9, 2011 on Fearless Press when I was a guest author there. From an early age, I would look into the mirror and see only the things I wish I could change; from the dimple in my chin, my growing belly and fat arms to my round face, huge jiggly ass. Then I didn’t
Seeing a Desirable Me: Learning Body Confidence through the Fingers of a Lover Read More »
“To err is human. To forgive is divine.” The start of a new year is a very popular time for resolutions and goals, but it’s also a great time for letting go of the past and letting bygones be bygones. In theory, it’s a great idea. Who doesn’t want a fresh start to the New
A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Letting Go and Offering Forgiveness Read More »
Every December as the holidays wane, we start thinking about New Year’s resolutions and ways to make our lives better. The New Year is a fresh start and optimism is contagious. For submissives, though, resolutions mean so much more. Frankly, I’ve decided that the world would be a better place if everyone had a Dom/me
A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Goal Setting in a D/s or M/s Dynamic Read More »
I’ve noticed a lot of questions in FetLife recently (and almost always) about how to maintain the mindset in a 24/7 relationship. I’ve not responded to these there because I’ve created this article as my reply. The advice that the people have received may or may not help them. My thoughts on the subject are
The Myth of the 24/7 Submissive Mindset (and Why So Many of Us Struggle) Read More »
Pride, Merriam-Webster: Pride is a slippery emotion that I believe many a slave deal with, even if we don’t recognize it. I’m not talking about the feeling of elation and accomplishment after a job well done or when we’ve been recognized and given kudos. But, there is this thing; this lapse in judgment that many
Note To Self: Selfish Pride Comes Before A Fall Read More »
When I first discovered my submissive side, Sir gave me a BDSM checklist to fill out. It was a spreadsheet over six pages long with categories such as sex, bondage, S&M, role-playing, and toys. The columns include basic yes/no/maybe options, as well as soft/hard limit and “only with Sir.” The list was so comprehensive and
A Submissive’s New Year’s Resolutions: Reviewing and Updating your Checklist Read More »
