Competition is human nature. From the time we are children we start to see who is ‘better’ and hopefully, that is you. It could be as simple as having more ice cream than your sibling thus making you better or getting the best grade on a test, making you better than everyone else in the […]
My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition Read More »
We all have those little voices in our head that tell us what to do. Sometimes it tries to convince us that our disobedience is okay. The voices are very convincing at times and then we have guilt riding with us until we come clean. Perhaps you’ve heard these voices yourself: “Come on, he won’t see me
Coming Clean: Admitting Your Disobedience Read More »
We all have responsibilities in life. The family needs to be taken care of and fed, you have to work, pay the bills and keep the home repaired. Kids have to be cared for and carted around from games to classes to other outings. There are days you feel that there aren’t enough hours in
Juggling Daily Life and Submission Read More »
Those of you who read my blog already know this, but for most of you, this will be news. I have an addiction. At the end of last month, I came to the realization that I am a binge eater and secret eater. I’m addicted to food and the way it makes me feel. While
Handling an Eating Disorder While in Service to a Dominant Read More »
1. What’s a subbie to do when, for whatever reason, he or she cannot get away? What about the use of corporal discipline to help put the sub in his or her place? Sure there will always be times when a submissive is not able to get away to refocus for a number of reasons.
When You Can’t Get Away: Follow Up to Submissive PMS Read More »
When starting out in submission, there are a lot of roads you can choose and so many people direct novices to training and need to be trained. Most of these novices then seek out a Master or Dominant to train them. This concept that the Dominant can teach the submissive more about surrender is a
Dominance as a Slave Training Tool for Better Submission Read More »
There is no way to be sure but, the large majority of information about the D/s lifestyle is in fiction form. While it’s nice to escape into emotional and physical stories, they are fantasy. For submissives looking to get their feet wet, these stories could hinder or harm the very ideas that develop in the
Do You Answer When Submission Calls You? Read More »
Getting in trouble. We’ve all been there a time or two. It comes with learning and training new things as well as changing behaviors. Our Dominants generally don’t derive any pleasure out of punishing us and the guilt we put on ourselves can be more damaging than the misdeed in the first place. Allowing that the punishment
Carte Blanche – Repeating Misbehavior Patterns Read More »
Want to be a better submissive? Start with these 10 simple tips to improve your submission and service in your D/s dynamic. Practical, easy-to-follow advice for all levels!
10 Things You Can Start Today To Be a Better Submissive Read More »
Everyone at one time or another is going to go through moments of guilt. Submissives may have added self-guilt when you break a rule or upset your Dominant. These things are going to happen as you develop and grow in your role and your life. It’s hard to believe but no one is perfect. What
On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in meditation and presents a spirituality in service that can be adopted and adapted to fit your relationship. I’ve always had a curiosity with religious artifacts and items used
A Great Example of a Slave’s Rosary Read More »
A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it. It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to religion, but BDSM can be spiritual too and I’d like to explore that with you. What is the relationship between spirituality and religion? Is BDSM spiritual? — Submissive
Finding Your Spirituality In Service Read More »
Continuing the work on your training resume, I’d like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and dreams. You can be as fanciful as you want right now, we will narrow things down as we go along. There are 3 things I’d like to focus
How To Use Mind Mapping To Pinpoint Your Ideal Submission Read More »
My first question for March Question Month is about making the mental switch from work to home life. I know from experience that this is a very difficult time for both the Dominant and the submissive. You could have had an intense day at work, or the submissive is in a position of power at
Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find Your Submissive Mindset Once You Are Both Home Read More »
Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and its role in society where it’s related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya’s post from Under His Hand, that while being a rant, was a well thought out discussion on how narrow-minded a lot of feminists are who
Is Submission in Opposition to Feminism? Read More »
Everyone has gone through bouts of depression at one time or another. For some, it’s practically debilitating and others can handle it in stride without much of a bat of the eyelashes. I recently recovered from a long time depression with the help of medications and my Dominant’s caring. It’s never an easy process, but
Managing Depression as a Submissive and How Your Dominant Can Help Read More »
Everyone has a defining moment where BDSM becomes a part of your life in some form or another. It doesn’t have to mean that you are completely immersed in a D/s relationship right away. A lot of us start out just kinky in the bedroom. The idea of being submissive as a part of your
What Your Defining Moment Means to Your Submissive Future Read More »
I was asked in an email for some help from a girl that was confused about the information she was given by submissives bent on giving her ‘good’ advice. She’s been happy in a relationship with her Dominant and while they live a D/s life she’s always seeking more advice on the right way to
You Aren’t Doing It Right – Dealing With Criticism From Others Read More »
Aftercare is an important part of recovery from play for many people. It is most common to experience a drop in emotions and energy after play from within hours to even days later. All too often it becomes a necessity to take care of yourself after a play session because your top was just visiting
Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare Read More »
Your training history is the catalog of the past relationships that you have had within a D/s dynamic. You will be documenting the training you received and list the basic development that you can recall being part of your service. If you have a long history with many dominants this could take awhile and be
