Kink Fundamentals

From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.

An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life

Since discovering my submissive side back in 2012, I’ve been in a perpetual holding pattern when it comes to meeting people in my local kinky community.  I want to get involved, but I’m also afraid of taking that first step.  I’ve done tons of research using the incredibly helpful articles on Submissive Guide, which has helped to […]

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Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It

Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things

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Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast!

This entry is part 10 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps

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Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! – Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play

There are some pretty bad derogatory words in the English language. Ones then when uttered make people cringe and cry, scream and object (often loudly). So when I entered the BDSM scene 10 years ago I was on the fence about how these same terms can be used in a positive way, or at least

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So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know

This entry is part 4 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

This is a guest post by Boundobedience.  I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their

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The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM

This entry is part 6 of 19 in the series New to BDSM? Start Here

Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is

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Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 1 – Adrenaline

This entry is part 7 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

This is a guest post by Erika McLean. Why do people kneel and let other people order them about and hit them with things?  It’s perhaps the most common thing I get asked when people find out my sexual interests.  Why, why, why?  There are volumes of things written about this but, being as I’m a

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What’s That Sound? Discreet BDSM Play and Hiding Toys from Children

This is a guest post by moonlight. No matter how you choose to go about it, kinky or vanilla, we want to keep our fun-loving activities away from our children. However, by their very nature, children are curious little people who can have quite the sneaky side and don’t like missing what everyone is up

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Learning About Positive Pain Processing Methods

This entry is part 11 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk

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Learning About Negative Pain Processing Methods

This entry is part 12 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

If you ask any sadist what they enjoy out of pain play, it’s likely going to be watching the bottom respond to the pain. The more response, the higher the enjoyment for the top. Why is this important? Well, if the method of pain management doesn’t allow you to respond well to the pain, then

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Understanding Natural Pain Processing Techniques for Better BDSM Play

This entry is part 13 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

Everyone you meet has different methods for how they handle pain. Think about the last time your stubbed your toe. How did you respond to the pain? Did you jump up and down? Curse? Cry? Hold your breath? Walk it off? How you handle pain is a result of nature and nurture. Perhaps as you

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What to Do When Punishment Starts to Feel Good

This entry is part 8 of 17 in the series Discipline and Punishment

You are in trouble and waiting for corporal punishment. You are anxious, sad, depressed, frustrated about the whole thing but you know that you did something wrong and need to atone for it to get on the right path again. No one likes getting punished (at least you shouldn’t), so what happens if, as the

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