With the trailer of the “50 Shades of Grey” movie being released, my Facebook newsfeed and what I have seen on Fetlife in multiple groups, that’s all anyone seems to be able to talk about. I have managed to not see the trailer because I have no interest, but some of the discussions that have come up, […]
BDSM and the Media: The Influence of Media on the Perception of BDSM Read More »
One thing I learned while putting together the Guide to Your First Munch was that when someone goes to a meeting for kinky people, with the idea that they are entering a whole new world, they think that all the courtesies and manners they learned before are somehow no longer extinct. People often ask me how they
Manners, Etiquette and Appropriateness When Interacting with People in the BDSM Scene Read More »
The other day in a lifestyle group on Facebook, a member of the group posted a rant because she was tired of hearing about submissives and slaves being punished for stupid things, such as masturbating without permission. I was on the bus on my way home from shopping when I saw this and it upset
Your Kink is Not my Kink – Understanding Other People’s Kinks Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. There is a whip in my closet that is an antique. It’s the kind that Drayers would use on their horse teams when driving a carriage. When I’ve been particularly bad, or good, Master will unhook that puppy from the rope it’s hanging on. Those moments, as he
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 4 – Endorphins Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I would like some advice on how to tell my family and my children who are teenagers that I am committing myself to my Dom. I have been a single Mother for many years and live in a very rural area. My Dom and I have been in a long distance relationship for
How Do I Tell My Family that I’m Committing to My Dominant? Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Do you ever have that feeling when your Master is working you over and waiting for you to say “uncle,” that you will be damned if you’re going to say it before his arm gets too tired to flog you anymore? I do. I’m a brat through and
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 3 – Testosterone Read More »
I was curious about BDSM before I knew what it was. I knew I liked being spanked, being told what to do, etc. I started looking into BDSM but haven’t mentioned it to my boyfriend of 3.5 years because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m a weird, for lack of a better word. Although he knows
How Do I Know If I Can I Make it In This Lifestyle? Read More »
Hi! My partner and I are both fairly inexperienced in D/s, and we haven’t quite got the hang of how to do a scene. As she says; “I can tie you up alright, but then what?” It’s hard for her to know what to do, and it’s hard for me to know exactly what I
Make Your Own Step-by-Step Guide for a Scene Read More »
Talking dirty is an art that not many are born with, most of us have to learn it if we want to be good at it. I’ve given a bit of a primer on it before if you want to check that out, and I know that many of you are shy and just thinking of talking
5 Types of Naughty Talk To Enhance Your Sexual Experiences Read More »
I’m a female sub, and new to the scene, officially. Unofficially, I have been experimenting with (less than enthusiastic) partners, but now I’m a free agent, and seeking a community! So what’s stopping me you might ask? Well, I have genital herpes, and it deters most people. Do you have any tips for a young
Where Can I Find Like-minded Friends w/ Herpes? Read More »
Hi lunaKM, I was wondering if there is anything that can be done to minimize the appearance of bruises and marks after rough play. I am very Irish and my skin is just this shade of death warmed over/ goth girl dream. This makes every mark stand out like a billboard and I get marked
How Can You Reduce the Appearance of Marks and Bruises After Play? Read More »
My first experience with ass to mouth sex was a huge surprise. I was playing around with someone, and I said something to the effect of, “kiss my ass” as a way to disagree with something he said, and he rolled me over, pinned me down and started kissing my ass. It moved to rimming,
My Time on the Edge: Exploring Rimming Read More »
Since discovering my submissive side back in 2012, I’ve been in a perpetual holding pattern when it comes to meeting people in my local kinky community. I want to get involved, but I’m also afraid of taking that first step. I’ve done tons of research using the incredibly helpful articles on Submissive Guide, which has helped to
An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life Read More »
Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things
Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It Read More »
About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps
Positive Pain Processing Interview is Out Now on KinkyCast! Read More »
Explore the emotional power of erotic humiliation and degradation in BDSM. This guide breaks down key differences, challenges misconceptions, and offers personal insight into how these taboo dynamics—when practiced with consent and care—can foster intimacy, catharsis, and self-discovery for those ready to explore vulnerability in a safe, consensual space.
Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! – Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play Read More »
This is a guest post by Boundobedience. I read a lot of questions and answers from people who are into BDSM and are with people who may or may not also be into BDSM as well. There are two groups that I generally see. Well, three, but the group that successfully manages to convert their
So You Want to Share Your Kink with Your Vanilla Partner – What You Need to Know Read More »
I didn’t know I was submissive when I was in my last vanilla relationship. I never would have guessed it at all and would have denied it if someone made the suggestion. I was too independent to be submissive (so I thought). I did, however, have a lingering fascination with rope and bondage after my
Why I Could Never Return to a Vanilla Relationship Read More »
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Everything your partner is doing is driving you crazy. They leave the toothpaste cap off. There was no note to let you know where they went off to that morning. There is fast food trash in your car when you hop in to go to work. The list
Exploring Hormone Junkies: Part 2 – Oxytocin Read More »
Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is
The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM Read More »
