In August of 2008, I entered the world of BDSM and, within a few months, found a steady play partner. Visiting his home was like visiting the most amazing toy store a lifestyler could ever imagine. He had all kinds of toys from homemade to special order. I quickly learned about various implements; I found […]
My Toys Or Yours? Building Your Own Toybag On a Budget Read More »
When a BDSM novice comes to me to ask for advice I like to refer them to a few blogs that I enjoy who tell it like it is. A blog written by someone living and exploring a kink lifestyle is a valuable resource. What makes it difficult for any novice is that there are
Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online Read More »
In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange, it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to
Orgasm Control: Learning How to Ask for an Orgasm Read More »
This is a continuing discussion about Munches. If you’d like to read the first post, Attending a Munch now. Once you find a munch in your area, you may want to contact the hosts in advance and let them know you are coming. This way they can keep an eye out for you at the door,
I Found a Munch, Now What? Read More »
“Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the people there? And what should you do to attend? Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle
What to Expect When Attending a Munch Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It’s a concept that I can understand so clearly in my head, yet I have been struggling to find the words that will explain it to someone who might read my thoughts
On Being Worthless: Consensual Humiliation and Slut Training Read More »
BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a
Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a
Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups Read More »
The idea of hypnotism always frightened me a little. I never thought it was entertaining to watch someone go up on stage and act like a chicken or in some other humiliating way. My Master, however, was intrigued by the idea of using hypnotism in our M/s relationship. I have always felt somewhat self-conscious with
Getting Started with Exploring Erotic Hypnosis Read More »
I never used to like anal sex. I wouldn’t let anyone near that part of my body. There were all sorts of worries and thoughts running through my mind every time someone tried, from concerns about pain to concerns about cleanliness, to not understanding, on a personal level, how stimulation to this part of the
Anal Play: Beginner to Stretch in No Time Read More »
This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. I don’t think I could ever forget the first time I felt it. He was buried deep inside me as my thighs straddled His hips, riding Him slowly as we talked. I
A Slap in the Face: Exploring Face Slapping in BDSM Read More »
When you engage in playtime with a Dominant your body is the canvas for sensation and pleasure. You can run the gamut of emotions and many of them can take you by surprise. It’s not uncommon even for someone who plays regularly to be shocked by a new reaction to a play activity that they
Understanding Your Body’s Responses During Play Read More »
WHAT IS ROLE-PLAYING? When you think of role-playing what comes to your mind? Naughty school girl? Nurse-patient? French maid? A lot of what we do can classify itself under role-playing. In fact, D/s is a form of role-playing. For many people it is just a character they don to play or have some kinky fun;
How to Use Role Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life Read More »
This post is written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first posted on Sensual Service, which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. “Consensual rape.” Quite an oxymoron, I suppose. Rape, by definition, is sexual intercourse in which one party is unwilling and unwanting of the attention and act. A consensual act is something quite contrary
Psychological Aspects of Consensual Rape in BDSM Scenarios Read More »
BDSM checklists are often one of the first things you hear about when you begin your journey into BDSM and submission. Looking at a complex checklist you found on www.onewaytodobdsm.com (not a real site) can have you obsess over every term you don’t know. I’ve even written about checklists several times on SubmissiveGuide.com. But when it comes
What’s The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists? Read More »
Has your Dom/me ever tied you in a position where if you move one way this part of your body gets stressed or pulled, and if you move another way, that part of your body gets tugged or pinched? If so, then you have experienced predicament bondage! Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and playful or painful. It
Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage Read More »
Another question from March Question Month comes from Coco: I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage are? I have been referred to as “vanilla” for being uncomfortable with those who identify/have identified as submissives and slaves at/from a very young age. I can understand experimenting at a young
What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission Read More »
