Every few months I take a look at what BDSM related books readers of the Submissive Guide community are buying at Amazon (according to the reports Amazon give us from our affiliate program*). Today I spent some time digging into the purchases of BDSM books and have compiled the following breakdown of best selling books […]
The Best-selling Items on Amazon According to What Our Readers Are Buying Read More »
Hi, my name is Laney and I am a hug slut. I admit it, I love a good hug. As such, imagine how hard it was for me, entering the world of BDSM where a hug in greeting is not always possible. At my dungeon, like all dungeons, we have a set of rules that
To Hug or Not To Hug: Etiquette for Giving Hugs in BDSM Situations Read More »
This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these people, there can be a very strong desire to be humiliated. But what is humiliation? We’ve all experienced embarrassment from time to time and have a fairly good
Embarrassment vs. Humiliation – One Opinion Read More »
There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad submissive thing. It’s made people terrified that everything they do could be crossing that terrible line. It’s not true. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again. Bottom topping isn’t as bad as it is hyped. First,
The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom Read More »
Happy Halloween! Soon we’ll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now, I’d like to talk about how Halloween is a perfect time of year for exploring kink as well. When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker
Halloween – A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out Read More »
Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind closed doors and in the bedrooms of kinky couples all over. What is considered lifestyle domination and submission or 24/7 D/s is a rare thing. Before KnyghtMare and I moved to a TPE
How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM Read More »
Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It’s also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find
How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning Read More »
The Ready-Made Submissive. This is a phenomenon that I am seeing pop up around the BDSM community. Why is this becoming prevalent? What exactly is a ready-made submissive? How can we, as a submissive, not fall into the pitfall of this? This is what I am going to talk about, and, hopefully, help you to
The Ready-Made Submissive Read More »
Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I’d rather be left alone. I’m never very sure which mood I’ll be in when we begin playing but aftercare is always on standby because I take what happens in scene very hard. It goes with my very emotional self. What exactly is aftercare? Reading some
The Question of Aftercare: What is It, Do You Need It and How to Ask For It (And Get It) Read More »
Virginity. It’s valued and prized and then remembered. There are even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course, there are also BDSM virgins when people just get started. But, the question I got posed to me the other day was if you are a sexual virgin can you even know that you are
Virgins Can Love BDSM Too: How Sexual Preference Doesn’t Have to Involve Sex Read More »
Music always has a place in play for setting the right mood. We all have our own preferences but here are three playlists that I go back to again and again. Romance Soft Play and Bondage Below are groups that I find have a wide variety of sounds that are great for bondage and softer
3 BDSM Scene Music Playlists For The Dungeon and Bedroom Read More »
“Are you kinky?” he asked as he leaned in for a kiss. “What? Um… no, I don’t think so. Am I?” The word kinky is not exactly a clear term to define. It is a word that means different things depending on the context but maybe we can come up with a basic definition and
Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky Read More »
Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened. You fell in love. Not with a certain someone, but with your community. It happens to a lot of us lifestylers. We immerse ourselves in our dungeon, our dungeon friends, “our world.” Then, we
Have a BDSM Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of Read More »
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a refresher on the basics of BDSM. If you are just finding this site, I hope that the wealth of information you see will help you understand yourself and the world in which you are curious. For novices, the word BDSM is a huge scary word. For the experienced,
What Is BDSM All About? Read More »
Dirty talk can unlock deeper connections and sizzling pleasure in your relationship. Explore this beginner’s guide to overcome fears, learn tips, and master sexy talk in the bedroom.
Moans, Groans, and Beyond: A Beginner’s Guide to Dirty Talk Read More »
Before I entered a D/s relationship masturbation was a regular recreational activity for me. It was also private. Even when I was married I didn’t masturbate in front of him or let him know when I was taking care of myself. It just wasn’t something I shared. Neither did he. And then I committed myself
How Masturbation Changed in My D/s Relationship Read More »
So you’ve discovered kink and want to try some things out. You talk to your partner about it. Unfortunately, no matter how you suggest things to your partner they aren’t interested. They are really vanilla. It may be obvious that I’m not talking about the ice cream flavor here, but if you are really a
But My Partner is Vanilla…: Three Options Available To You When Your Partner Isn’t Kinky Read More »
Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can you wear? Where do you find a party? The most popular place now is the event listings on FetLife. You can browse through ‘events near
Let’s Party! Finding Local Play Parties Read More »
Every day I’m exposed to or learn about another kink or fetish that I was not aware of. It’s a wonderful and fascinating experience that continues to expand my education and curiosity. Just as when we were very young and asked our parents, “what’s that?” constantly, I’m like a child growing and developing opinions on
Your Kink is Not My Kink and That’s Okay Read More »
You want to start attending the events in your local community but their dress code is “Fetish Wear Only.” How do you dress for these events without spending insane amounts of money and still look great? Fetish wear can be a lot of things but it’s usually clothing you wouldn’t wear out in the real
Building Your Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget Read More »
