From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a refresher on the basics of BDSM. If you are just finding this site, I hope that the wealth of information you see will help you understand yourself and the world in which you are curious. For novices, the word BDSM is a huge scary word. For the experienced, […]
What Is BDSM All About? Read More »
Dirty talk can unlock deeper connections and sizzling pleasure in your relationship. Explore this beginner’s guide to overcome fears, learn tips, and master sexy talk in the bedroom.
Moans, Groans, and Beyond: A Beginner’s Guide to Dirty Talk Read More »
Before I entered a D/s relationship masturbation was a regular recreational activity for me. It was also private. Even when I was married I didn’t masturbate in front of him or let him know when I was taking care of myself. It just wasn’t something I shared. Neither did he. And then I committed myself
How Masturbation Changed in My D/s Relationship Read More »
So you’ve discovered kink and want to try some things out. You talk to your partner about it. Unfortunately, no matter how you suggest things to your partner they aren’t interested. They are really vanilla. It may be obvious that I’m not talking about the ice cream flavor here, but if you are really a
But My Partner is Vanilla…: Three Options Available To You When Your Partner Isn’t Kinky Read More »
Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can you wear? Where do you find a party? The most popular place now is the event listings on FetLife. You can browse through ‘events near
Let’s Party! Finding Local Play Parties Read More »
Every day I’m exposed to or learn about another kink or fetish that I was not aware of. It’s a wonderful and fascinating experience that continues to expand my education and curiosity. Just as when we were very young and asked our parents, “what’s that?” constantly, I’m like a child growing and developing opinions on
Your Kink is Not My Kink and That’s Okay Read More »
You want to start attending the events in your local community but their dress code is “Fetish Wear Only.” How do you dress for these events without spending insane amounts of money and still look great? Fetish wear can be a lot of things but it’s usually clothing you wouldn’t wear out in the real
Building Your Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget Read More »
KnyghtMare and I are always in role. Even when out in public he is the Dominant and I am submissive to him. So, it’s with great frequency that I get asked how we stay in role especially in public or out among the vanilla public. I don’t know about you but when it comes to
Submitting in Public: How is it Done? Read More »
The views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I like those definitions especially the end part where they say “especially to orgasm”. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! A little background I started masturbating at an early age as many of you may have, not knowing what it
When Masturbation Is No Longer Private – Playing With Yourself For Your Dominant Read More »
Books are a wonderful way to learn on your own about BDSM, submission, sex and all the other activities you can explore. But who wants to carry a BDSM book onto the bus? Kindle (and other readers) are an excellent way to hide your book choices and still bring them all with you. I’ve loved
BDSM Books You Can Get on Kindle Read More »
In August of 2008, I entered the world of BDSM and, within a few months, found a steady play partner. Visiting his home was like visiting the most amazing toy store a lifestyler could ever imagine. He had all kinds of toys from homemade to special order. I quickly learned about various implements; I found
My Toys Or Yours? Building Your Own Toybag On a Budget Read More »
When a BDSM novice comes to me to ask for advice I like to refer them to a few blogs that I enjoy who tell it like it is. A blog written by someone living and exploring a kink lifestyle is a valuable resource. What makes it difficult for any novice is that there are
Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online Read More »
In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange, it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to
Orgasm Control: Learning How to Ask for an Orgasm Read More »
This is a continuing discussion about Munches. If you’d like to read the first post, Attending a Munch now. Once you find a munch in your area, you may want to contact the hosts in advance and let them know you are coming. This way they can keep an eye out for you at the door,
I Found a Munch, Now What? Read More »
“Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the people there? And what should you do to attend? Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle
What to Expect When Attending a Munch Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It’s a concept that I can understand so clearly in my head, yet I have been struggling to find the words that will explain it to someone who might read my thoughts
On Being Worthless: Consensual Humiliation and Slut Training Read More »
BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a
Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
