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Kink Fundamentals

From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.

What’s That Sound? Discreet BDSM Play and Hiding Toys from Children

This is a guest post by moonlight. No matter how you choose to go about it, kinky or vanilla, we want to keep our fun-loving activities away from our children. However, by their very nature, children are curious little people who can have quite the sneaky side and don’t like missing what everyone is up […]

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Learning About Positive Pain Processing Methods

This entry is part 11 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk

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4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because They Are a Dominant

I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems

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Learning About Negative Pain Processing Methods

This entry is part 12 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

If you ask any sadist what they enjoy out of pain play, it’s likely going to be watching the bottom respond to the pain. The more response, the higher the enjoyment for the top. Why is this important? Well, if the method of pain management doesn’t allow you to respond well to the pain, then

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Understanding Natural Pain Processing Techniques for Better BDSM Play

This entry is part 13 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

Everyone you meet has different methods for how they handle pain. Think about the last time your stubbed your toe. How did you respond to the pain? Did you jump up and down? Curse? Cry? Hold your breath? Walk it off? How you handle pain is a result of nature and nurture. Perhaps as you

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What to Do When Punishment Starts to Feel Good

This entry is part 8 of 17 in the series Discipline and Punishment

You are in trouble and waiting for corporal punishment. You are anxious, sad, depressed, frustrated about the whole thing but you know that you did something wrong and need to atone for it to get on the right path again. No one likes getting punished (at least you shouldn’t), so what happens if, as the

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Road Trip: Taking your D/s Relationship to Fantastic Las Vegas!

Most adults over the age of 21 already know that a trip to Las Vegas can yield any number of experiences, mostly depending on what you’re looking for. Las Vegas is one of the few places in the world where you can literally say “anything is possible.” It’s a fun place for singles, couples, and

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When the Walls Have Ears – 5 Strategies for D/s and BDSM Play with Kids Around

This is a guest post by Erika McLean. My kids get up at just about 6 am like clockwork every day.  They tend to wander out in the middle of the night into the living room because they’ve had a nightmare.  Anyone who has kids is going to recognize this as how your own life works.  Anyone who

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The Curse of Masochism

This is a guest post by kaya of Under His Hand. I tend to think of my particular brand of masochism like a chronic illness. Like, say, the diabeetus. (Some) people who have diabetes have to stab themselves with needles regularly. They have to take shots and watch their diet, and they do these things,

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Coming Out to Friends: Time to Reveal Your Kinky/Submissive Side

Ever since realizing my role in the lifestyle, I have been faced with a lot of …decisions that I’ve had to make. In some instances, I’ve had no issues with making those decisions. But then there are those instances where the decisions I’ve had to make, aren’t always so easy to make. I’ve had to

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How To Manage, Increase and Explore Pain Tolerances in SM Play

This entry is part 9 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist to masochist) – however there are

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Take the Bite Out of Submitting to Pain – Sadomasochism Is Not a Part of Submission

I’m here to break the news to you about a piece of misinformation about submissives. Are you ready? You do not have to like pain or be a masochist to be submissive. That’s it. That piece of news right there leads to one of the largest reasons so many of you are confused. You think

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Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization

This entry is part 14 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I

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Enhance Your Sex and BDSM Play with Rituals in the Bedroom

This entry is part 4 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren’t meant for you, right? Wrong. If you’ve ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full-time submissives only or those in committed

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