Kink Fundamentals

From understanding basic kink concepts to exploring various fetishes, this category is your starting point for building a solid foundation in the world of BDSM.

Road Trip: Taking your D/s Relationship to Fantastic Las Vegas!

Most adults over the age of 21 already know that a trip to Las Vegas can yield any number of experiences, mostly depending on what you’re looking for. Las Vegas is one of the few places in the world where you can literally say “anything is possible.” It’s a fun place for singles, couples, and […]

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When the Walls Have Ears – 5 Strategies for D/s and BDSM Play with Kids Around

This is a guest post by Erika McLean. My kids get up at just about 6 am like clockwork every day.  They tend to wander out in the middle of the night into the living room because they’ve had a nightmare.  Anyone who has kids is going to recognize this as how your own life works.  Anyone who

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The Curse of Masochism

This is a guest post by kaya of Under His Hand. I tend to think of my particular brand of masochism like a chronic illness. Like, say, the diabeetus. (Some) people who have diabetes have to stab themselves with needles regularly. They have to take shots and watch their diet, and they do these things,

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Coming Out to Friends: Time to Reveal Your Kinky/Submissive Side

Ever since realizing my role in the lifestyle, I have been faced with a lot of …decisions that I’ve had to make. In some instances, I’ve had no issues with making those decisions. But then there are those instances where the decisions I’ve had to make, aren’t always so easy to make. I’ve had to

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How To Manage, Increase and Explore Pain Tolerances in SM Play

This entry is part 9 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist to masochist) – however there are

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Take the Bite Out of Submitting to Pain – Sadomasochism Is Not a Part of Submission

I’m here to break the news to you about a piece of misinformation about submissives. Are you ready? You do not have to like pain or be a masochist to be submissive. That’s it. That piece of news right there leads to one of the largest reasons so many of you are confused. You think

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Learning Better Pain Processing Through Visualization

This entry is part 14 of 23 in the series Pain Processing

This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I

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Enhance Your Sex and BDSM Play with Rituals in the Bedroom

This entry is part 4 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren’t meant for you, right? Wrong. If you’ve ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full-time submissives only or those in committed

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What is Primal Play?

This post is part of an effort to provide a glossary for novice submissives of words commonly seen on this site and in the BDSM community. Mr. Samsonite. Every group has one; you know, the guy who can’t show up to the play party without enough luggage to go on a two-week European tour? He

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Find a Munch at FindaMunch.com!

Are you looking for kink friends and fun close to you? Have you heard about munches, but don’t know what they are, much less where to look? Are you traveling or relocating and not sure about the community at your destination? Or, are you already involved, and you want your local organization to grow? FindaMunch.com

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You Could Be in Danger While in Top/Sub Space – Learn How to Protect Yourself

I first published this in Society of Janus’ Bi-monthly newsletter, I thought I’d share it with you as well. Exploring kink is full of exciting experiences and hormonal roller coasters. We manipulate adrenaline and endorphins to give us a pleasurable experience during play. Often without knowing how these hormones will impact us after the play

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