The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things that can happen in a relationship. It was an unspoken word when I was single. You didn't learn about protocol and no one I knew used a protocol to govern their own development and personal growth.

I'd like to change that. A personal protocol can bring you ahead of the game, no matter where you are in your submissive journey. In this article I'd like to give you a working definition of a personal protocol, how you can develop one whether you are single or in a relationship and what it can do for you.

What is a personal protocol?

A personal protocol is a method of behaving and acting that maintains or improves your character. It is a code of conduct or a set of behaviors and expectations for specific times or settings. It contains a balance of rewards and corrections to keep you in check of the protocol put in place. A good personal protocol will help you learn to govern your time efficiently, develop your skills and educational opportunities and improve your personal habits and finances. It sounds like a lot, but it only takes a small commitment from you to get started.

What most people don't realize is that in every routine you maintain you may have developed a protocol. It's more than a set of rules, but more a specific way things should be done. Protocol is also beyond habit. A habit you can perform without conscious thought where an activity done within a specific protocol is more ritualized.

And that's where we begin.

A common protocol that many of you in the US will understand, but not realize it, is how to show respect to the flag. You learned in primary school how to pledge allegiance, standing when it passes during the ceremony, removing hats or sunglasses. As you got older you learned that the flag is never to touch the ground, perhaps that it is supposed to go up the flag pole really quickly and retire from the pole slowly. You might have even learned how to properly fold a flag for storage or the correct way to discard/destroy a flag.

You can see from the above example that while it will seem like a habit, this set of protocol rules was ingrained in us as US citizens. You can make many things in your life function the same way.

Single Submissives

As a single submissive, you can begin developing a personal protocol right away. You can decide to form a personal body care routine with very specific ways to care for your body and maintain your physical presence. You can make a decision to dress a certain way so that you project your best self to the outside world. Another way that a single submissive can prepare for a relationship is having an organized life schedule, budget and self-improvement model.

Submissives in Relationships

As a submissive in a relationship, you too can develop your own protocol, with your Dominant's service in mind. The above ideas can fall into your protocol just as easily. You can also add a protocol for how you'd like to exemplify grace and beauty in your service. There are even more opportunities to learn skills and talents that you can then use right away. Not all of your service has to be dictated to you by your Dominant, but I do recommend that you talk to your Dominant before beginning any personal protocol changes or additions. Make sure it falls into the submissive design he wants from you.

This article is just the beginning on a topic that I have a lot I can cover to bring out the best in you. I hope that you can know see that protocol isn't as mysterious as it used to be and that we all use it on a regular basis to control our behavior and presence in the world.

Thoughts to Ponder

  1. What are your thoughts on personal protocol?

  2. What could you improve in your life that seems out of control or in need of some fine tuning?

  3. Should I cover something specific?