I've never been a submissive but my new boyfriend is a professionally trained Dominant that has been in the lifestyle for many years. I knew this about him before we started dating and told him I could accept it in our relationship. He's ready to incorporate this but I find it utterly ridiculous to get on my knees and kneel in the middle of his bedroom every time we enter it. It's awkward and uncomfortable. How do I get over this mindset? I want this to be a part of us both and I genuinely want to please him.

Learning about submission is a process and one that hopefully you will enjoy. I do have to first question a "professionally trained" Dominant. I personally don't believe there is such a thing. You can get an education in the lifestyle but none of it is professional, accredited or official in any capacity. Now if he has years of experience that speaks to his knowledge and that's worth something at least. But that's not your issue so I'm moving on.

I have a couple questions for you as far as the kneeling is concerned. What does he want you to get from kneeling in the bedroom? What has he said he likes about it? Did you ever get the chance to agree to do this or was it just expected of you? If you want to please him then finding out what about this motion makes him happy and having that feed your mind at that moment. It might be all you need to connect to it. If it's uncomfortable, is it a physical issue that you can find an alternative for? Kneeling isn't the only way you can show submission. I curtsy or bow, depending on if I'm carrying items, before entering KnyghtMare's office to show him the respect of his personal space. Many things can work instead of kneeling.

As a Dominant/submissive couple, you should be able to sit down and talk about these things with him. If you don't feel that kneeling is doing anything for your mindset and you feel odd doing them perhaps that's just not something you do for you. If he says he likes it because it makes you look beautiful down there or that he likes the ritual of it would you do it for him because of his response? Do you connect with why kneeling is his preference?

I think you should take some time to talk to him about how you are feeling about kneeling - it's not about learning to get out of the mindset that it's silly orĀ absurd. It's about finding what will make you both feel your roles more. I'm sure that he can work with you to find something that satisfies both of your needs.

All the best,