Today I want to talk about scene reports: what they are, how to begin writing them, and most importantly, how they can aid and empower your playtime.
I have only had one scene go really bad with my Master. In all of our years of playing, in all of the trials and errors, in all of the adjustments needing to be made, one. One sideways scene. And it sucked. It took quite some time to move past it and get back playing again. We had to rebuild trust first.
I often think back to the experience and wonder in hindsight if having some previous scene reports to lean on, learn from, if the mistakes during that scene may have been preventable. Moving forward we made a conscious effort to have me journal about our play time as well as the emotional side of Dominance and submission. So let's get into the nitty gritty of it.
What is a scene report and how do I write one?
Simply put, a scene report is a written account of the who, what, when, where, why's of playtime. It can be as straightforward or as frilly as you like; whatever your personal preference in writing is. It should include some sort of detailing of the build up to the scene (things like preparation, advance notification or not, clothing choices, emotional mood), actual logistics of the the scene (tools, timing, environmental factors, emotional mood), an aftercare report (what happened, how it impacted you), and then an after report from a couple days later (how you felt, how the Top felt, what you loved, what you loathed, how it could improve the next time, maybe a ranking system.)
Example of a straightforward scene report:
Time: 9-11 PM
Partner: Dom D
Place: XYZ Play Party
Plan: Impact scene
Approach: Dom D approached me, asked if I would bottom. I said yes. We sat and negotiated approx 10 min about tools and limits. I was excited to try the St. Andrews cross for the first time. Once it was available we used that station. No bondage, though, which made me more comfortable with a new partner.
Scene: Approx 30 min of impact play. Floggers, crop, and paddle all used. Thuddy flogger my favorite. I did not go to subspace and we had no sexual interaction. Maybe next time I would like a more sexually charged connection with my Top. The impact felt good but left wanting more.
Aftercare: I wrapped up in a towel. Wish I had brought a change of clothes cause it sucked putting a corset back on after play. He got me water and checked in with me a couple times before I left. Felt good.
Final report: Overall a fun scene. I love playing in public and will continue to do so. Thuddy tools for the win. Cross is okay, not as great as I had anticipated. Dom D checked back in, seems like a responsible enough Top but I don't feel like it will go any further relationship wise. He did say he enjoyed it and would Top for me in the future.
Example of a frilly scene report:
It is the first of the month and I couldn't wait to get out of the house. It has been so long since I have played and I need a break so bad after this work week. Looking to let off steam, I check the RSVP list to see who may be going, hoping I can find a Top that might be interested in playing. A few interesting prospects indeed! I wore my favorite corset, got all cleaned up and primped up, and headed out the door. Got to the party about 8, mingled, laughed with some friends, enjoyed being the voyeur for a bit. There were a lot of great scenes happening around me.
Dom D approached me about an hour into the event. I had heard good things about his play style from others and when he asked me if I would like o play I was so thrilled! I couldn't wait to turn my cheeks pink and feel that flood of adrenaline run through me upon impact. We sat down and chatted for a bit, my heart pounding in anticipation, and even though I was so nervous, I told him I wanted to try out the St. Andrews cross for the first time. He said yes!! So we waited for it to be open and we went there, thankfully I didn't get tied to it. I was too nervous playing with a new partner to be stuck there.
He started out really lightly with a flogger, kinda nice, more like he was brushing me with something than "impact." Once he started hitting harder with it, and it became more of a thuddy sensation than a whisper across my bum, I started getting tingly and warmed up sexually. He switched to the crop, which was okay, but I liked the flogger better. Ended with using a wooden paddle. That was HOT. I'd like to try that again too. The cross became uncomfortable at some point. I would have rather been on a spanking bench or over the foot of a bed so I can sort of relax and enjoy without having to be upright.
Afterward (it lasted all of 30 minutes but seemed to go by so fast!) I wrapped up in a towel I brought and went to the bathroom to get dressed again. Damn does it hurt to put a steel boned corset back on after a flogger swinging at my back! Oh, I wish I had thought to bring a comfy dress or something to throw on. Next time, next time. Dom D came to me after I got out of the bathroom and get me some water, checked in on me. That was nice. I can see why he's highly recommended. Drove home fantasizing about getting to subspace one of these days but alas, tonight was not the night.
It's bee a couple days and I remember this scene fondly! The Top was good, checking in a day later, and said he enjoyed the scene as well. The cross was okay, the thuddy flogger was incredible, but overall was left wanting more. More kisses, more touching of naughty bits, more hot sexy words whispered in my ear, more connection. While this was a perfectly lovely night out, I need to continue my search for a Dominant. Until then, play time itches the scratch. Overall, I would give this scene a 7/10.
How to use scene reports to empower play time
There are so many ways this kind of detailed reporting of play can be useful for both casual play experiences as well as in long-term Power Exchange relationships.
- Writing this all out is an amazing learning tool for the submissive. You can read about the experience you've had, figure out what worked, what didn't, what you want to try out. You can more clearly express your desires and limits when you can remember what they are.
- This is also an amazing learning tool for the Top or Dominant you are playing with. That's right, I encourage you to share this information with your Top! They don't have to read it exactly as you wrote it, but you should sit down a couple days or a week after playing and speak plainly about the experience, this scene report as your notes. It is a way for them to learn and grow along with you. If your Top keeps paddling in the SDS (same damn spot!), he needs to know that that doesn't feel great and brings you out of a good head space. Whether this is your Dominant and you only play together or this is a Top that you will never play with again, it is always good to encourage skill in play time.
- This is an amazing learning tool for your relationship. Think about vanilla sex in relationships. The first time isn't always the best, right? You are just learning about each other's bodies, desires, etc. The Same principle applies here. With journaling scene reports, each experience can build off the last. You get to know each other more intimately; adjust for that specific partner.
- This is an amazing learning tool for others. If you publicly journal, there are other people growing from your mistakes and successes. One person, one scene report, can bring a stranger or friend to be brave enough to try something new! Or encourage them to be more open in their relationship.
- Scene reports can help you understand your own personal limits. If you experience something triggering, harrowing, writing that out will help cement how important that information is to relay to play partners. It is also a safe space to explore those emotions. Like I talked about in the beginning, I feel like our one scene that went sideways could have possibly been prevented had we been doing scene reports regularly all along.
- Scene reports can help you understand which of your personal limits to push past. If you are scared of the idea of knife play but it is all you fantasize about when with your partner, that is really great information to write out and think about; communicate to your partner. Maybe it is an unfounded fear that you want to work past. Scene reports are the place to pen these conflicting emotions out.
- Having these reports are great for bringing a spark back into long term PE relationships. Being able to go to your Dominant and say, "Remember a few years back? When we played poolside?? (wink, wink) Give this a read and tell me we shouldn't try that again!"
Creating scene reports as a part of your journaling is a powerful tool. It can help you learn about yourself, your play, your desires. It can force you to reflect on your path through submission, of which play can be a vital part of. It can be a way of mapping your growth; tracking your experience. If it has been awhile since you and your partner had a 10/10 scene, it can be a signal to focus on the physical aspect of your relationship. If you are just looking for some fun pick-up play, you can potentially help improve the "pool" of Tops by giving them constructive feedback about their play style and at the same time getting exactly what you are seeking because you can verbalize it.
Just like any other part of journaling, make your scene reports simply a reflection of you: they don't have to be perfectly written or fancy, just honest and real and written.