The world is full of automatic responses that people use to common questions. One of the most common questions among submissives is "Why do you submit?" and what's the response 9 times out of 10? "To please him." Sure it's a selfless response, but is it always the best answer and perhaps not the most honest? I'm going to talk about why I think we need to reflect on the question more before we consider the auto-response to be the true and valid one for our personal submission.

It's an honorable thing to think that your submission is only to please another, your Dominant, but I only know of a smaller minority where this is the full truth. And it doesn't apply to me at all. Sure I love to serve my Dominant and when he's happy I'm on cloud nine, but what I get out of it is a far greater reason for my submission. When he's happy I receive peace and joy. I'm content and stress-free. His pleasure is a conduit to that end. Without his happiness of my service, I can't obtain that peace and that's why I serve him.

It doesn't make me any less submissive because I need something in return for my submission. In fact, I'd wager many of you reading this right now are realizing that the results of pleasing him are what really drives you to continue doing so. What are some other valid reasons that you submit?

  • Your pleasure
  • A sense of accomplishment
  • For the good of the family/community
  • To fee order and a release of control
  • The need of structure and discipline
  • A sense of true self
  • To recapture a moment of child-like innocence
  • Any other reasons?

Why do we need to think beyond the words, "to please him?" For most of you, you won't need to. Your contentment in service doesn't require looking deeper and further inward to yourself. My Dominant has taught me to always look inward and deeper than I ever have before and that's where my realization that just saying that I submit to please him just wasn't good enough. I know there are some of you who also feel a need to look inward on your submission and understand the root of your desires.

Why do you submit? Is it more than his pleasure that drives you?

Thoughts to Ponder

If you weren't "allowed" to use the response "to please him" in answer to the question Why do you submit? What would your answer be?

How important is it for you to know why you submit to your Dominant? Is the idea of submitting enough for you?