I haven’t really written much lately. It’s been a part lack of motivation and part lack of inspiration. I’ve had a few ideas, but nothing that really convinced me that I need to actually put down any words. But then the Universe hit me with a really big stick.
A couple of months ago, I bought a friend a copy of Jenny Lawson’s Furiously Happy because I knew she needed this book in her life. Then I kept on her to start it. She did and loved it as much as I knew she would.
Then I started my B2 German course. More new words and evil German grammar. One of my teachers gave us a new word-authentisch, authentic for all you non-German speakers. This teacher has made several points about how important it is to be authentic. Not gonna lie, there were a few times where I rolled my eyes every time she mentioned this. That’s just how often she brought it up.
A couple of days later, I finally started reading my copy of Furiously Happy. I laughed, and a few times I could feel tears because I could completely 100% relate to what Lawson was saying.
Then, that next morning, I got talking to my friend about the book. She told me while reading that she was inspired to write something to submit for publication and I told her that was so freaking awesome. I told her that it’s been close to six months since I’ve written anything because of lack of motivation, and now that things are a bit hectic, I don’t really have a lot of free time to start writing again, but I really wanted to get myself back into the habit.
Later that same morning as I was on my way to school, I was reading more of Furiously Happy and I found myself thinking that Jenny Lawson is authentic as f*ck. And that’s when I got hit with that really big stick.
I started thinking about the importance of being authentic as well as reasons why we may or may not show our authentic selves to the world. Due to the people we’re around or current circumstances or whatever environment we’re in depends on what part of ourselves that we show to the outside world. Not to mention, people get caught up in the latest trends and fads and by doing so, it’s so easy to lose who you really are when you get caught up in a sea of sheeple.
It’s so important as an s-type to be authentic. In my opinion, if you want to submit, if you want to serve, those desires have to come from the heart. There are a multitude of reasons why s-types submit(and that’s a whole nother article!), but if your motivation for submitting is because you’re hoping for a free ride or meal ticket, or because it sounds cool and seems like everyone else is doing it, in my opinion, aren’t really reasons to submit. Those types of people, they may be able to put up a good show for awhile, but then it’s easy to see through their act, cracks start showing in the facade they put up, that their submission isn’t sincere, that their reasons for submitting isn’t because deep down they really want to, but because they want to see what they can get out of it for themselves or because they think everyone else is doing it.
Another reason why it’s important to be authentic as an s-type is because you have to know who you are as an individual. You have to know your strengths, your weaknesses, your flaws, and imperfections. You have to know what you stand for, what you believe in. Being your authentic self is going to be the only way you find the right partner for you, the person who will be with you for the long haul, not just until you come to a rough patch and the not so glamorous parts of you starts to show. Something I have learned with my own struggles is that if I’m not honest with myself about who and what I am, about what I want and need, I can’t be completely open and honest with Daddy. Whenever a breakdown in communication starts, that tends to be when things start to fall apart.
You have to know who you are to know what you want. I know it’s not always easy to be as authentic as we would like, but it’s something we must keep striving for, especially with our masters and dominants.