“I want to suck your cock.”
“Give me more, I need to feel you deep inside!”
“Listen to all the yummy noises your cunt is making!”
I wasn’t always very good at dirty talk. I consider myself quite prolific now and it works for KM and I on many levels and enhances our play and sex quite regularly. You too can learn how to talk dirty, get over your embarrassment and make it an exciting addition to your relationship.
My first experience with anything sex was through porn. The girls of porn taught me how sex might be for me. And so when it came time to have sex for the very first time I tried to copy them. At least their dirty talk anyway. But it was cumbersome, uncomfortable and odd feeling. Worse yet, I felt embarrassed by the simplest terms of anatomy like pussy and dick, breasts and ass.
So I quickly ignored my partner's lust at hearing me try to talk dirty and resorted to moans, groans, and sighs. These utterances seemed so much safer and comfortable.
by Carol Queen is a fantastic foray into exhibitionism. No matter how shy you are (or are not) this book has something to help you express yourself sexually. The talking dirty chapters really did help me realize that I could be more audible in bed and it would enhance our sex play. I tested out a few of her recommendations and while one or two fell flat with Master, the others did exactly what I wanted them to!
It wasn't long however before I wanted to use dirty words again. Here's what I did to open my vocal sex to myself and my partner.
The first thing that will help you get comfortable talking during sex would be to just start making more noise. A lot of people feel that making noise is hard to do, so go with moans, groans, sighs, and gasps first. Once you can get used to hearing yourself enjoy sex and listening to your partner enjoy sex it can open up your confidence for vocalizing during sex.
2. Practice during masturbation.
No matter how private your moments are during masturbation, whatever the fantasy you can vocalize to yourself. Start with whispers and the non-words that I did above. Just get comfortable hearing your voice while you pleasure yourself. After a while, start using one-word phrases, "yes," "God", "fuck,", "Oh," and your partner's name are common. As before whispering them first and then get a little bolder and before long you'll be able to scream these words.
3. Write out phrases.
Yeah, this one is going to seem odd, but several of the people I talked to said that they'd be more vocal in bed if they only knew what to say. So, take some time and write out some hot phrases that you've thought about, but forgot in the heat of the moment. Read them aloud before bed each night until they can settle into your memory. Having these phrases on the tip of your tongue will help you vocalize them when the time comes.
4. Learn the slang.
There are so many ways to say what you are doing that there's no doubt that you'll find some new favorites and others that you are more comfortable with. The Dirty Slang Dictionary is a good place to start. If you need even more, then try DirtySlang.com or buy Sex Talk: Uncensored Exercises for Exploring What Really Turns You on.
5. Break down your barriers.
There is usually a mental barrier for your discomfort in verbalizing during sex. Identifying that block while definitely help you free yourself from the feeling of taboos and open your mind sexually to the pleasures that talking dirty can bring into the bedroom.
Start by describing what you are feeling. "Oh, that feels good!" "I'm all tingly inside!" "I'm so wet/hard!" "That tickles!"
Then say what your partner is doing to you. "Yes, kiss me!" "Lick my pussy" "Suck my dick" "Fuck me hard!"
You can move to begging and asking for what you want from sex after that. The sky's the limit and you can get into your mind and draw out that dirty slang you learned too. It will all lead to the best sex.
I hope that these few tips will begin to open your mind and eventually your mouth to some of the hottest sex you can have when you just verbalize.
On KinkAcademy.com (affiliate)
- Talking Dirty about Talking Dirty
- Talking Dirty: Getting Started
- Talking Dirty: Phone Sex
- Talking Dirty for the Shy
- The Art of Dirty Talk
Taking the first steps into talking dirty isn't an easy process. You have to deal with embarrassment, discomfort and the fear that your partner will just laugh at you. I’ve taken all the guesswork out of how to practice and become comfortable using forbidden language to aid you in taking your sex life to the next level. Download the guide today!