You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren't meant for you, right?
Wrong.
If you've ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full-time submissives only or those in committed relationships then you haven't broadened your thinking enough. It's not just the full time "lifestyle" submissives that can benefit from rituals, rules, and protocols in their lives. Submissives that dabble in the bedroom only have a lot they can do to enhance their experience in play and sex with their partner.
As I've discussed before, rituals don't have to be long drawn-out detailed processes. They are most powerful when they are short, simple and focused. So how can a ritual work for you and your part time submission?
Well, it can put you in the mood when you are having problems connecting to your submission for one. I have a playtime ritual myself because I have issues separating what we do for play with how he treats me the rest of the time. So, before play he places a play collar on me and when play is done, it comes off. This has grown to signify the start and end of play and helps me mentally transition from slave, to play slut and back to slave.
Some ideas for simple bedroom transition rituals:
- Kneeling before play
- Kissing the first tool/toy to be used
- Placing a collar only used for play
- Laying out the toys in a presentable manner
- Dressing for play
- Saying a mantra
- Playing a song you connect with
Of course, transition times aren't the only moments when a ritual might be a nice addition. I know a couple submissives that have a methodical way to worship their partner's body, that is so beautiful and focused. It joins them in more than the physical - it's a connection of minds and souls.
In erotica, and also in real relationships it is possible to have to ask for another strike of something you normally don't enjoy, or to have to count the strokes. This is also a form of ritual because it requires that you focus on one part of the action and it's a simple way to keep you connected to the play.
Finally, I hope you can see that even if your D/s or BDSM relationship doesn't leave the bedroom, you can add ritual to make it more focused, more pleasurable or more powerful for both of you.
What other ideas for rituals do you have for the casual player and the bedroom submissive?
